Thursday, February 24, 2011
I know we are just getting to know each other and I know that you want the best for me; but I am having a really difficult time letting you in my heart.
You are all grabby and I just met you! I mean, sure we have been on about a dozen dates, but I am NOT that kind of girl. I need it to be love before you take advantage of me. Trying to maintain that pace for a whole mile is turning me away. Can't we take it slow. Can't you allow me to take a sip of water without the fear of falling (again)? The last time, with your cousin, Millard, when I fell, I was out for 13 days and 4 hours... and I cannot let that happen again! You promised you wouldn't treat me like Millard but my guard is still up.
I read all about you. I know your buttons, plans, quirks, and even your settings, but I am tired of pulling STOP because I can hardly catch my breath.
And about Tony: I know you see me with him everyday and yes, I like Tony, A LOT! But Tony has been with me for over a year and he was gentle and slowly allowed me to fall for him. You cannot race into my heart... you have to be patient; but allow me to go the distance that I want. When you push me too fast, I give up too easy and all that means is I dread coming back you.
I have been told that I have a nice smile. Tony makes me smile. I don't smile when I see you... in fact, I cringe. I want you to see my smile. I want you to feel my sweat and hear my heart pounding. I KNOW you like heavy breathing... and I CAN give you that - don't give up on me.
I promise you will be with me for a long time. I mean, it took us a while to get you. I even gave you a mirror so when I am not with you, you can stare at your good looks... and don't worry, I like a little confidence. Just do not get too cocky on me.
And tomorrow, well, I REALLY want to run 8 miles. Can you give me 8 miles? Paver said he can... but it is just too cold outside. I am putting my faith in you.
It has to be all down hill from here,
Posted by Jen at 10:55 AM