John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." NIV

Friday, February 17, 2012

Its like faking orgasms...

Surprise. I know... know. For those of you who held your breaths wondering when I would return; thank you. You can breathe for now.

Where I left you: I left you at the point of my REST. It was a long tough week but I WAS successful in resting. I did a lot of soul searching that week too. I made some decisions. But most of all I rested by means of exercising. By the end of the week, my house was SPOTLESS. There wasn't a single piece of laundry to be washed, or dried, or hung, or put away. No dust. No dirt... seriously, went behind my kids and cleaned up their messes. I was more than a little insane. I think my husband enjoyed the clean house and inspired meals. My attitude... well, take a week of exercise away from a prior fat girl and you bet there will be attitude, and mood swings.
Decisions made: 70.3 is on hold, speed increase on hold, find the passion again

Where I have been: I took the week off and then I "eased" back into running:

Sunday: Swim clinic, 3 mile run
Monday: 4 miles, 1600 m swim
Tuesday: 5 miles
Wednesday: 4 miles
Thursday: 5 miles, 1700 m swim
Friday: 16.5 mile ride and 3.5 mile run
Saturday: 6 miles
Sunday: 10.25 miles
Monday: 3 miles, 1750 swim
Tuesday: 15 mile ride and 3 mile run am, 3 miles pm
Wednesday: 5 miles am, 4 miles pm
Thursday: 7 miles
Friday: 3 miles (today)

And I have a ride and long run planned this weekend.

Where I have been non-exercise related: I have been lost. I have been weak. I have been down. I have given notice at my current job. I have accepted a position at a new place. I have realized that I am no honey-badger and really, really want to be.

Its like I have been faking orgasms in life - why? Because it is just easier. Easier for everyone to think I am happy, no ones feelings get hurt, the truth to stay bottled up.

And as I have said before... there is nothing like faking it. I am REAL! Honey-badgers are REAL. (BTW: Have you been reading Tonia's series? TDF!!) I want to be real. I want to surrender and be resurrected. I want the Pixie back. I want the "old me" who had the passion back.

A wise friend once said: "its ok to blog about problems, not just 'inspirational' stuff" - well, folks... I'll come back.... but I cannot promise it will be happy and mushy! But it will be REAL!

6 comments:

TMB @ RACING WITH BABES said...

Oh, how I've missed you. It sounds like you are finding your way. I know that you are a honey badger, you just need to find a way to make it show. Love you!

TNTcoach Ken said...

Eased??????????/ LOL

steph said...

ha, i feel like half my blog these days is the 'struggle' part, so i feel ya. i hope i can ramp up like you have! sheesh! :)

Pam said...

Welcome back, sweetheart! I so hope you find your happiness, your way, very soon. <3

Jill said...

Blog what your heart tells you. Hope things get better. Great to hear from you again!

Rene' said...

thank you for posting today. i have been wondering where you were. xoxoxo!