John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." NIV

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

HYDRATE, already and Potty mouth!

I have become arrogant on my runs.

Let me start at the beginning: In preparing for any run... and I mean ANY run, even a 3 miler, I ALWAYS brought water or Gatorade with me. It could be 13 degrees or 95 degrees. As I got "better" at running, I would not bring fluids with me on runs if they were under 6 miles.... whether it was 13 degrees or 95 degrees.

TG has given me *insert expletive here* about it. He doesn't even have a fancy hydration belt like me (I have 3, btw) and he ALWAYS, well when I run with him; he carries fluids.  On the 40 mile bike ride, most of the riders carried 2 water bottles - not me... just one. The chick that carried one (which was way larger than mine) even stopped to refill it half way through. I had some left in my bottle when I finished (oops).

Yesterday, I ended up working longer than I would have liked which meant I had to run in the afternoon before the kids got off the bus. And to top that off, I "forgot" to eat breakfast - I know... how do you forget? Well, it was a busy morning, and I was planning to just grab a Luna protein bar on my way out - I didn't. So by 1pm (last meal was at 5:30 the night before), I was obviously FAMISHED. So I shoved an apple, chicken and spinach salad with blue cheese in my mouth until I was full. And 20 minutes later, I decided if I was going to run, it had to be then. (Not a good idea - I knew it wasn't).

Since it was like 85 degrees in full sun, I filled two bottles with Gatorade, strapped on my belt and headed out. I even put ice cubs in the bottles so it would stay cool. And the 3rd bottle I put water in, you know, in case I wanted to douse my head with it.

I was feeling good. Mile 1 was just over 8 minutes. By Mile 2, I started to get a little stomach cramp - I figured it was my blue cheese. By mile 2.5, I started to feel "pukatastic" (thanks Elaine for the new word). Just over mile 3, I puked 1/2 of my salad up. I felt better. And when I reached to take a swig, you know... to get that nasty taste out of my mouth - I had NONE. Yep, I left all three of them on the counter. *insert expletive here*.

To top it off, I was now barely running 9 minute miles. I decided since I had nothing to drink and my stomach WAS NOT feeling it, I would stay on the trails to keep out of the sun. And then I got lost. I quickly switched the Garmin to show me the time - 3:15pm *insert expletive here*; the kids get off the bus at 3:45 (if it is on time) *insert another expletive here!*

And of course, I did not bring my phone to "phone a friend" or to see if my husband was going to be late. UGH! I started to sprint. I started to feel even more nauseous, but I had to make it back to the kids. I followed the golf course (it backs up to our neighborhood) and figured I should hit a street... eventually.

3:30 (still completely lost) *insert several expletives in a row* and I was getting to chills (dehydrated). And not only was this a trail, it is rolling hills. I mean, I actually made a mental note about practicing hill work on these trails... seriously a challenge.

I saw a small bridge up ahead and felt relieved... it looked familiar. I was close to the neighborhood. 3:38 pm .... UGH!

It looked very similar to this!
By now I was running under 8 minute miles. I would stop every now and then, and fold in half expecting vomit (no such luck). As I stepped on one side of the bridge... I noticed a large black hose in front of me MOVE. It wasn't a hose. It wasn't a black snake. It looked like a water moccasin. *insert a very LOUD expletive* here. Thankfully, the vibration of my steps scared it away from its nice sunbathing spot and it disappeared off the side. I think I was sprinting  by this point.

I finally made it to the neighborhood and past bus stops before ours and parents were still waiting. THANK GOD for substitute bus drivers or I may have not been home to get the kids... but thankfully as I was sprinting home, my husband was pulling in. Yay!

I promptly came inside (forget the kids - I was about to pass out) and drank all three bottles and another glass, and put my head under the facet.

Lesson learned: I REALLY need to hydrate more. I need to quit being lazy or feeling arrogant.... that I am "too good" to wear a water belt. ALL the cool kids are doing it, right? YOU BETTER!

How are you preparing for warmer weather?

BTW: There were no children or old people in range to hear my potty mouth.


ajh said...

I would die if I saw that on my run. There would certainly be some potty mouth coming out of me.

Rene' said...

i like you have been getting a little brave about not carrying water. it is definitely time to change my tune:) glad you made it back!

Ironmom (Julie) said...

Yikes! And $*^&$#@!

Richelle said...

Oh yuck! I hate snakes! Sorry that all those awful things happened on your run, but it sounds like there were plenty of lessons learned. I would have sworn like a sailor, too!

cql said...

Ewww snakes!! I am terrible about carrying water!! I never do unless it's over 6. I just don't like carrying it. I will drive my route to "drop" off water so I don't have to carry on my long runs.

kimert said...

I cannot stand snakes.

Pam said...

Bless your heart, but this post had me cracking up.

There might not have been any children or old people, but Santa Clause heard every word you said!

Janet said...

Well more than Santa.. our Savior did.. check the mouth .. not the girl I know...

momof3 said...

Uh, yea. Ya think??? Holy freaking carp! *BTW - when I'm not dropping the f'bomb my favorite phrase is "heckfireandshoot!"

And, yea, T and I had this conversation yesterday. The first "day" back, when you notice you need the for water is always the worst...