I have continued to take weight off since the competition. I am eating healthy and NOT emotionally eating. I have started back running and I am running further than I have in 15 years. I sticking to P90X - we begun week #6 last night. My family is healthy and although my father lost his job, they are doing just fine. My twin sister is expecting in June and has had a healthy pregnancy and her other two kids are doing awesome. I have been offered several jobs and although none of been the perfect fit yet, it has boosted my confidence. I could list about 100 more things that I have been blessed with...
Needless to say, I cannot stop smiling. As I was leaving my interview the other day, the interviewer said, "You exude happiness!" Whoa - NO ONE HAS EVER SAID THAT ABOUT ME BEFORE!
Yes, I am talking all of the time and in 5 minutes, I can tell you enough about my life that you feel like you have known me for years (bonus that I talk fast) - but exude happiness? Yes, I am VERY enthusiastic and am up for almost anything - but exude happiness?
I AM very happy right now. And instead of living in this happiness... I am wondering when the "bad" will happen. Will I gain the weight back? Will I need surgery on my knee and it will keep me from my marathon? Will I find a job that I will love? Will I ever have enough money to get back to seminary? Will my kids adjust to me working again? And I KNOW that I am not supposed to be worrying... but how can I live in this happiness?
I haven't had a bad life. I have been incredibly blessed with every need fulfilled. But like I mentioned earlier - I am over the moon.
My devotional gave me great insight on this:
"We are called to be the Lord's diehards to whom can be committed any kind of trial of endurance and who can be counted upon to stand firm whatever happens... This is the spirit that animates all valiant life: to be strong in will - to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield - is all that ever matters... To be able to stand steady in defeat is in itself a victory... It is inspiring to be trusted with a hard thing."
I should not worry about the defeats that may lie ahead (sick child, injury, gaining some weight), but be steadfast and live in the overflowing blessings that the Lord has graciously given me. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over" Psalm 23:5.
Indeed, my cup runneth over!!!!!
How do you strive to live in your happiness and not dwell on what may come?