Setting You Free

And then I was told to REST

2012-01-31T19:48:00.000-05:00

The first of our Tri clinics for the DCTRI Club MoCo Mafia was on Sunday.

We met with our hired expert, AJ, and after a brief introduction we started.

She had us warm up around the track for two laps, then to run moving up to 90% effort for 10 minutes, and finally run at 100% effort for 20 minutes. This was she would be able to tell us what our VO2 Max threshold was. Of course, I asked if 100% meant sprinting... and she said 100% at the fastest pace we could maintain for the entire 20 minutes.

We all had to wear HR monitors. Silly me had not even taken mine out of the box with I bought my Garmin 2 years ago. As I was pairing it with my Garmin, it said my heart rate was 51... not bad for a resting heart beat (sort of low though).

On the warm up, my HR was all over the place... I backed down my pace since 8:15 wasn't a warm up pace. Once the 10 minute run on, my breathing was all over the place... and by the 20 minute run, I was exhausted.

During the 20 minute time, my heart rate average was 181 with a MAX HR of 220 - WTH? 230 is like a heart attack.

I was breathing horribly and could not catch my breath... and actually when it reached 220, I had to stop (with 7 minutes left) because I felt light headed. My walking HR was 160, at 3/4 of the way around the track. NOT GOOD AT ALL.

All of my runs since my heart surgery have been tough. 6 mile runs feel like 12 mile runs. 12 mile runs feel like 20 mile runs. I am exhausted. I literally took a nap after the track workout on Sunday... btw: total mileage was: 3.44 pace was 8:56.

I was concerned.. AJ, the coach was alarmed.

We had a talk at the end... about form and other very useful information.

On my way to my car, AJ stopped me and gave me her (non-cardiologist) opinion of what was going on:

1. Over training- well, duh... I don't exactly rest.
2. Lack of sleep - I had only gotten 5 hours all weekend.
3. Still having issues with my heart.

Advice: take a week off. Meaning... no exercising at all. Of course, I wanted clarification... meaning no Ab Ripper? NO! No plank off? NOPE!

So... this has been day two. I am not going insane yet... but I feel tired. And scared.

I wondered if I jumped the gun with the surgery. I have felt lethargic since the surgery and EVERY run has felt labored. At my month followup, I talked to my cardiologist about it... he did an EKG, and everything looked normal. He suggested that maybe it was that I was coming off of marathon training.. etc.

But now... now, I should be feeling better. I should not feel labored running 12 miles at a 9:45 pace (Saturday's run) considering a year ago, I ran the Cherry Blossom 10-miler at a 8:15 pace. Nothing has changed... besides the heart thing (oh and maybe the over training).

One, rather abrasive Mafia member said, "You just need to stop... and quit playing around... you have a congenital heart issue - get it looked at." And it hit me... I shouldn't be messing around with my heart!

So this week, I will NOT workout. And I will wear my heart rate monitor and record the data to see if we an get to the bottom of this. So far, nothing abnormal doing nothing... I did take a stroll with the kids and Dolce the Wonder Dog this afternoon (the weather was just too gorgeous)! HR was around 125. :-)

By the end of this week, I will be going INSANE! Pray for me! ;-)

My Swimming Secret

2012-01-26T14:46:00.001-05:00

It isn't a huge secret that I LOVE to swim. I really enjoyed it... a LOT, until I had a plan to follow. Swimming miles, endless laps in a pool, without company, can be boring.

Around Christmas, I saw a Living Social deal for H2O Audio and took the deal. I got the: Interval 4G Waterproof Headphone System for iPod shuffle HERE (and one for a friend) and I have to say, I was VERY skeptical.

Concerns:

1. Would it leak... I surely did not want to ruin my shuffle... I mean... you do not get a second chance with electronics and water, right?

2. Would it be cumbersome? It looked bulky and not exactly what I wanted on the back of my goggles.

3. Would I actually be able to hear the music? Headphones while running can even be difficult to hear music... but under water?

RESULTS:

1. I haven't had a leak yet. Actually, it is quite easy to manipulate. The first thing the instructions ask you to do is to submerge the set in water for 30 minutes to verify there aren't any leaks before adding the shuffle. And since we all know how over the top I am, I did it for 3 days. It was COMPLETELY dry inside. So, I tested it live and still have a working shuffle after a month.

2. It isn't cumbersome at all. The ONLY time I even think about it's size is when I first put the goggles on. It is so light weight that I do not even realize it is on when I am swimming.

3. Oh, I am "Rolling in the Deep" for sure. I love it. I am not sure I can swim without it now. I do get some stares, probably from the jealous swimmers who wish they had one, but it is definitely a good thing. I have different playlists depending on the type of swim workout I am doing and occasional, while resting, you can catch me dancing in the water. Note: I have found that the sound quality it much better when my ears are dry, meaning, I put the headphones in and do not remove them until the workout is over. There is a very handy pause button that is very easy to manipulate when you need to hear someone talking to you (or in my case, questioning my dance moves).

Are you looking for a waterproof device and already have a shuffle? This is your solution. If you don't have a shuffle and want to swim with one, I did find several companies that takes the shuffles and makes them waterproof for an extra $20 (meaning: shuffle $ + H2O Audio headset + $20, but you will need waterproof headphones). Even have it on Amazon HERE.
I must confess, my love of swimming, especially long workouts alone... have NEVER been the same!

Just keep swimming....

I'm baaaaack!

2012-01-25T13:46:00.000-05:00

I know you have missed me. I was gone. Mentally. It wasn't pretty.

Maybe it was the weather. Maybe. Probably not. Although I LOVE hot weather... love to have my skin bake in the sun as I am sweating profusely... it has been a mild winter here in MD. Yes, we have days where it is so cold, your eyes water and your spine aches, but yesterday it was in the 50s, sort of breezy, but so NOT typical January weather.

Maybe I am just coming off of a post training funk because I tanked my HIM. Maybe. Yes, I confess it is TRUE that I withdrew from my HIM scheduled for June. I took the financial hit. Incurred the exit fees. Why? Well, it was a combination of fear and peer pressure. The fear part was simple: I was afraid to compete in the HIM by myself. My Tri Clubers had decided on a different race... and no one I knew well was doing it. I freaked out. The peer pressure part was that they ALL (like 6) were doing the one in May that I *had* debated. I decided against it because it is HILLY; it is early in the season, it is HILLY, and did I mention it was hilly. I still haven't registered for it. I was waiting for my refund from the June race to come (btw: the exit fee plus new race entrance fee = same amount, so it seemed reasonable). Refund came... and I still haven't registered. I may or may not become a HIMer this year because I need to decide WHY I was even attempting it in the first place.

Maybe it was...

Actually, I KNOW what it was. I have allowed other's opinions to seep into my soul and crush my spirits. I have allowed their negativity to breed inside me. I have allowed their jealousy and hatred to make me questioned my abilities, my actions, my being.

I can use humor to diffuse a situation, play it off so they don't know it bothers me, but later... later, is when I question. I stopped eating. I started working out twice as much and twice as hard. I lost 8lbs in one week. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't good. Confession: today my size 2P pants are too big and my XS belt isn't help. NOT GOOD!

But I am BACK! I have been training but it wasn't smart. I decided that I am ready to move pass this. I have sulked enough. And what better way to get back at these negative forces but by:

PROVING THEM ALL WRONG!

Chasing dreams

2012-01-20T12:55:00.001-05:00

***REPOSTED AS FIRST POST VANISHED***

I'm ready. I am nervous, but I am trying to trust my training. Team arrived. Van was packed. He grabbed my bike and attached it. I relaxed in the back. I closed my eyes... it was early. Too early. As we drive, I think about the race. I think about my training. I'm ready. I spent the last 5 months training. I see cars passing us with TRI stickers on it. Probably heading to the same place... united at the start line... last man for himself.

We arrive. I check in. Got my bib... major mojo in the numbers. Team takes care of my stuff. I manage to snag a interview with local television station... about my journey and my goals... I got weepy. Crazy stupid. Just nerves.

I take a minute to myself before my wave is called. I start praying. Not out loud, but God hears. I pray for all of the volunteers.. oh boy, what would we do without those volunteers? I pray for the spectators... even if they aren't cheering me on, their enthusiasm and encouragement helps more than they ever know. For my team, their support from which I would have never made it to the start line. I pray for the ones who said I couldn't make it. The ones that tried to side track me, many of whom are here today... racing along side of me. I thank God for granting me the start line... and humbly ask for the finish line.

My wave is called. I hop into the water. Not as cold as I expected. I chat nervously with some of the chicks around me. I'm starting to get nervous. Don't PANIC! Stop, you will panic... recover. We wish each other luck and then the HORN. And I'm off. Stroke, breathe, stroke breathe... ouch... foot in the chest... its okay... treading water.. GET BACK IN THE GAME. Stroke, breathe, stroke, breathe, stroke, breathe, sight. YOU CAN DO THIS! Stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe. SIGHT! Stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe... ah the rhythm. I reached the turn around before the wave behind caught me. YES! Keep going... stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe. Stroke, stroke, stroke, breathe.... feels good. I see the exit. Yes, I am almost done. I hear the crowds. I can walk... I try to run like an idiot in waist high water... hey... I'm ready. I exit, I unzip, I strip down.

My team tied a pink balloon on the rack near my bike. AWESOME! Goggles off, cap off, helmet on, sun glasses on, bib belt on, bike shoes... yes... drink a little. Take fuel! Take bike off rack... run with it... up the hill. Why would they put a hill out of transition. Mounting area... I mount on the first try. YES!

I take off, slowly at first... It is a little chilly... I know it will pass. Can't get left foot clipped... yes there! I get passed by a lot of other cyclists. Its cool. My race not theirs. Watching my cadence. Watching my speed. Enjoying the view. Wow... sharp turns, but not much hills. I cheer for riders as they pass me, "Good job # 1476." "You got this #6547". First lap down, second lap down... third lap... CRAP I forgot to fuel. FUEL. Haven't been drinking either. fourth and final lap. I can do this. Each lap I hear my team. I feel good. Not fast, but good. I see the dismount area ahead... congested. I'm excited. The run, my run!

I run my bike to the rack... silly me... my legs are wasted. No fun. I feel like I'm running crazily. Spot the pink balloon. Rack bike. Take off my helmet, grab visor. Sit, put shoes on. Drink. Fuel. Okay... I can do this. Grab Garmin... running out of transition (no hill this time) I am strapping it to my wrist... fumbling really with nerves. There it is on.

Okay, nice and easy, not to fast. I am passing way to many people... what is going on: 7:45 pace... SLOW the FREAK down... too fast. Spot the first water stop, walk through it. Start running again, 8:05, SLOOOOOOW Down! legs feel great, but my back hurts. 8:45 - much better. Back still hurts. I hear Bob in my ear... "Imagine a string at the top of your head, pulling you upright, shoulders back, chest out, back straight, look at your hips, is the water running out...." Much better. Miles are taking forever. I see someone pass me and stare at their calf... Crap, my AG... hang with her... 8:16, you cannot maintain this. Slow down. Your race. YOUR race. 9:15, feels good. Legs heavy... calfs burning. Another water stop... walked through again. Fueling every 3 miles. I am going to make this. Find my stride... focusing on form. Passing more people. Enjoying the views. Taking it all in. Only have your first once. 3 miles left. A 5k - no more than 30 minutes left. I cannot believe it... I got this. I start running faster. Passing people... "Come with me... you aren't going to let a chick beat you are you?" Passing a chick walking... "Let's go... its almost over... see the finish, come with me." Wow... I feel good. I cannot believe it. I am going to finish. 9:30. Not bad... got anything left? Come on 2 miles... we got this... no more than 20 minutes. Another water stop... I skip it, and then regret it. Come on, you got this, longer strides... ouch... this hurts, quads screaming. I see the finish line. Tears well.... I am going to finish... I am.... I see it, I pick up my stride. I hear my team.... screaming for me. I am crying... no bawling. I am going to finish... I got this. Cross finish line, hands in the air. Fall into my team's arms. Yes...

Medal is heavy. I earned it. Thank you God. Thank you team.

I wake up. Peaceful... wow, what a dream. Do I have it in me? Do I?

We can't just follow our dreams, we have to CHASE them, right?

Almost Wordless Wednesday: According to G

2012-01-11T22:00:00.000-05:00

Go HERE and then you will understand:

Before I lost weight, but when I realized that I WAS blind!

After I lost 96 lbs... and finally REALLY saw all the hard work!

Just breathe...

2012-01-09T22:55:00.000-05:00

I'm alive.

I've been working. I've been TRAINING (91. miles last week). Breathing... that seems to be harder.

2012 came fast. I thought I was ready. Ready to own GBA. Ready to rock a HIM. But... the enemy stepped in.

DOUBT!

Doubt hit me like a HUGE wave. I wasn't prepared. I didn't see if coming so I couldn't brace for it. I didn't have my foot planted firmly either.

I was tossed. I was twisted. I saw my future and it wasn't what I thought it would be. I saw failure. I saw defeat, even with my eyes closed.

Since I didn't see it coming, I didn't take a deep breath. Breathing is ESSENTIAL for life.

Thankfully, a friend noticed. She threw me a life jacket. She helped me to the surface. She resuscitated me. Her breath filled my lungs and she taught me how to breathe again.

It was temporary because what she couldn't do is help me see when DOUBT was creeping in. So after a few days, it crept in again. This time it was more stealth. It was slow... like poison... lurking and slowing approached unnoticed. Then BAM! Down for the count. This time... it was worst.

But....

My gym puts out a little magazine and in their January issue, had an article about those Gremlin voices. No, I'm not crazy. Everyone has them... usually they can be labeled under 7 titles: worry, envy, fear, criticism, anger, blame, SHAME... and I was like... yes, yeS, yES, YES! This is ME!

Step One: to get rid of them... or to silence them... is to acknowledge them. CHECK!

Step Two: Affirm myself. Maybe it is in front of the mirror. Maybe it is through writing. This helps me to reprogram my subconscious. (Note... it is to affirm MYSELF. NOT look for affirmations from others... and for me, it meant I had to acknowledge that I am an approval addict.)

Step Three: Get quiet. Meditate... visualize the affirmations above. See myself meeting my goals... not just barely... but confidently. With strength. BY MYSELF!

Step Four: Identify where my problems are. Break the cycle. If I can identify where the cycle begins, WRITE IT DOWN - this makes it easier to identify in the future.

Step Five: Be a risk-taker. Know that by taking risks... I will be uncomfortable. Anxious. Worried. KNOW that those voices will creep in.

Am I cured? NO. Am I feeling better? Slightly. Will I be struggling with this ... of course.

But I KNOW... I am worth the STRUGGLE. I am WORTHY, God made me so... God cares about my heart... and in my heart... I KNOW!

2011 Stats

2011-12-31T22:19:00.002-05:00

Wow... I cannot believe how fast 2011 flew by.

Here are my year stats:

Total mileage: 2381 miles

Running: 1509 miles
Cycling: 830 miles
Swimming: 42 miles

As for December... came in at 200 miles. I'm shocked!

Running: 135 miles

Cycling: 59 miles

Swimming: 6 miles

And I decided to actually look at my Half Ironman training plans and realize that they are 20 weeks long... which means, yeah... I have to start SOON!

Today, I finally set up my new trainer that I have had for a month! Brock helped too:

I have several goals for 2012, but right now... I am spending time reflecting on 2011. How did your year go?

How do you COPE?

2011-12-22T10:11:00.002-05:00

I admit that I love the endorphins of exercising. I used to turn to eating junk food or become a lazy depressed person when I was stressed or upset. Now I workout.

I know I need to give my body a break; but too often, I find myself adding another workout for the day because something didn't go as planned. I mean like running 6 miles before 5am and then running again after the kids go down because I'm upset or stressed. I ALWAYS feel better after the workout. And it isn't always running. It could be P90X or swimming, or going to the gym. Am I the only one?

I do have rest days... days that I do not do anything. Yes, it is only 1 day a week, usually Friday or Sunday but I have found that with the holidays approaching, I am not resting enough.

Sure my body feels great, but I have watched my speed average drop from 8:15s to 9:30+ since August. And more than likely, it is because of over use. While I feel fine and do not have an injury, it seems like it is all I can do to maintain at 9 min pace these days.

And I KNOW I should rest. I KNOW I should not over do it. Heck, I was waiting for December to arrive because I am not actually training for anything and have a few weeks before HIM training starts. Ok... I originally did not plan to run a ~~marathon~~ half marathon in DC (peer pressure), but seriously after RIC I was planning to cruise through December and just go back to running for the love of running.

So why, when I woke up WAAAAY to early this morning and could NOT go back to sleep did I run? Not just a little run... I ran 11.3 miles for "fun". I admit, I felt AWESOME afterwards. I felt strong. I felt happy.

But isn't there a way to feel that way without over doing it? One day, my body is going to give up, I am going to get injured if I do not stop over exercising. So, my friends... how do you cope with life stresses/upsets without pounding the pavement? Dare I say my heart was trying to tell me something?

One of my goals for 2012 is to find a plan and follow it. Not do more, but follow the plan and see... just for kicks what I am actually capable of. Help me?

Snot Fest

2011-12-20T10:14:00.001-05:00

And I still have my head cold. I woke up WAY to early yesterday and decided to hit MILLes. I was congested, so I grabbed the box of tissues and headed to the basement.

Now our house is FREEZING. Not just the heat set low to save money... like I tend to keep my coat on most days while INSIDE the house. The hubs says it is set to 68, and we have new windows (extra expensive kind), but I do NOT understand why it is so cold. The kids even wake up in the middle of the night freezing.

But the basement is the ONLY place that is hot... and that is where MILLes sleeps. I tend to wear hardly anything on these runs and knew that the "steam" from my workouts would produce more snot than usual. I started to run and within the first mile realized that the tissue box wasn't so full. And within the the 2nd mile, I was out. The only thing I had left to my disposal was my sweat towel... so politely borrowed from my gym (I promise I will return it when the Amnesty day returns). I was cruising along, staring at myself in the mirror (1. because I do not have a TV there; 2. because there is a mirror right in front of MILLes, he enjoys looking at himself; 3. it allows me to watch my posture and unfortunately, this morning, pick a part my body), when I realized that I was trapped in the SnotFest.

It was disgusting. Even Brock was grossed out by it and not much grosses out 7 year old boys. He proceeded to ask me: Why do you have so many boogers?

After explaining the head cold, the hot basement, the sweating, he declared: I think you should just keep that to yourself.

Yes, dear boy... so would the rest of the world (but again, I am sharing it with you)... but that junk is so much better OUT than in. When I dropped it and asked if he would hand it to me, he ran. Of course, I was just trying to finish my last mile in peace. It worked!

Finished 6 miles yesterday and managed 8 miles this morning. It was still a snot fest, but I came equipped... I brought a toilet paper roll! ;-)

Happy Blowing (your nose)!!!!

1st Annual High Cloud Snapple Homeless Hat Run

2011-12-19T11:47:00.000-05:00

My last "race" of the season was the 1st Annual High Cloud Snapple Homeless Hat Run. As of Wednesday afternoon the "race" was cancelled due to lack of participation by as of Friday morning, it was back on.

The logistics: We met in Arlington, VA and were to run to the capital and back handing out beanie hats and chips to homeless/needy people along the way. It really wasn't a race per se, but a leisurely run through the city. You could opt for he 11 mile course or 6, and as it turned out, we all opted for the 11 mile run.

TG and Jay met me at 8am, and we headed to the run. I went to bed with a head cold and woke up even more congested. But I wanted to win the "costume" award... you know for GBA GFs, we run for our clothing as much as for time.

My blinking nose wasn't on yet, but I did run with it blinking!

TG and Jay wore their hats the whole time too! It ended up being a small group. We started off down hill and I immediately thought... wow this is going to be tough coming back. I backed down on pace a little because of my congestion. I wanted to run 8:30-8:45 but was probably more around 9-9:15. We ran stopping when we saw homeless people, red lights, or cars aiming for us. The stopping and starting did not feel good to my IT band or my knees, but I just kept trudging along. Both TG and Jay offered advice, but at this point, I was merely looking to be finished.

It was a gorgeous run. A little chilly, but we brought a lot of cheer to the people. I got several comments keeping the GBA spirit alive... my favorite was from a little boy: 'Look, dad! It's Santa's little helper!" So sweet!

At the 7.5 mile marker, the group waited for me and Jason (new friend who talked my ear off about my marathon experience - he had only run 18 miles and was signed up for IMTX). Our coordinator, Bart offered some of us the ability to cut the course by a mile, and so the group broke off. One went for the 11 mile route and the other the 9 mile route. Turns out that the one loop was 11.1 and my loop was 10.3, so I didn't loose too much ground. Plus, I got to run the MCM finish... again!

We all finished (with two minutes to spare on the parking meter), and met the founders of the High Cloud organization and posed for another picture:

So who won the costume contest? It really wasn't fair... I mean to compete with a GBA GF.... yeah. I WON! It was suppose to be a UA gift card, but since the attendance was small and this was a charity run, I didn't complain. I won:

Salt and Pepper Shakers

Any more "races" for you before the New Year?

400th.... no biggie, right?

2011-12-15T15:09:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I missed it. Yep. It was my 400th blog post and what did I do? I tried to be funny... well, I tried to use someone else's humor for my lack of time to blog... no seriously, that blog post by THAT J,en got over 280,000 hits! WOW... if only I could write that cleverly.

Any who... 400 posts... sounds like a lot of whining to me. I thought I would take a look back and see some of the high lights.

Blog post with the MOST hits: 2039 hits: Runner's Cough (and 89% of the hits are from Google searches... boy I bet they were disappointed.)

Blog post with the MOST comments: 240 comments / 989 hits - Yeah, I gave away an iPod touch (kinda wishing I hadn't because now my is BROKE!)

Non Giveaway Blog post with the MOST comments: It's Official - 27 (when I officially signed up for MCM, my first marathon... and all I posted was an imagine of me being accepted into the race.)

Looking back I have covered most topics:

Injury
PMS
Heart Thingy
Exhaustion
Letting Go
Change: Here and Here and HERE
Surrendering
Five Guys
Becoming a Triathlete
Body Fat
Redemption
New Baby
Being Guilty
Becoming a Marathoner
Contentment
Going Commando
Being Famous

THANK YOU for coming along with me on my journey... I only hope you allow me to continue to encourage (and complain to) you!

(Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-14T21:19:00.001-05:00

Well, not my words so it doesn't count.

Go HERE and read the blog post "Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies" by: Jen @

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

WARNING: A little vulgarity (don't worry, I already washed my mouth out with soap), a little offensive (Hey, I didn't say it, she did) and I NEARLY wet my pants laughing so hard (so grab those Depends)...

Sharing

2011-12-13T04:30:00.000-05:00

I thought I was a good sharing. Being a twin, I HAD to share EVERYTHING. Actually being a twin really helped me learn how to be a good sharer... and it became especially important as we got older and had the choice of a "nice" car or two "not so nice" cars. We chose a nice car.... think red, think T-top, think sporty! We loved our Dodge Daytona. And when my twin sister got into an accident, I finally got my spoiler...

Anyway, on Sunday evening, I headed to my children's swim team practice and decided to get my swim on (during their practice). I headed into the other pool, and saw that the FAST lane was empty. This NEVER happens. Last week, it was filled with two other people, one of whom was doing the doggie paddle... and not fast. I excitedly tore off my outer clothing and started my workout. After my 400 warmup, another Tri dude asked to share my lane. Of course... and he dove in and was off.

We had a nice rhythm, never even knew he was in the lane. As I was resting after my 4x50 drills, Tri dude stopped to adjust his goggles and THAT is when it happened.

Tri dude said: "Geez, here comes the fat Asian dude," and took off down the lane. I saw him coming... I promise I heard his foot steps stomping across the pool and heading right for the FAST lane, bypassing the two SLOW lanes, the two INTERMEDIATE lanes (which only had one person in each).

He said: You share!
I said: You're fast?
He said: You share!
I said: You're fast, right? This is the FAST lane!
He said: You share!

So I started swimming, now we had to swim in a loop instead of back and forth; no biggie if he could keep up. And thats when the fat Asian dude, decided to swim 200m touching my toes at each stroke as if to say, "I faster than you!" He was definitely pushing me and then he stopped got out and walked to the Lifeguard stand.

Let me just say that the life guard could NOT have been too much older than 16... and he looked 12. I watched as the fat Asian man got very animated, but I could not hear what he was saying. I rested and then continued to swim. During my next rest, the "12 year old" life guard trotted over and proceeded to tell me that I needed to share my lane. I agreed, indicating that I had no problems of sharing the lane with someone that was fast! He agreed, kinda smirked and trotted back to his chair.

So I got my hand "slapped" for not sharing. Oh, well! I will try harder next time. What happened to the fat Asian dude? Well, he never returned to the lane; he opted for the hot tub. He must have decided that 200m fast was all he could handle... personally, I think he must have had a toe fetish... even though I still only have 6 toe nails.

Surprise...

2011-12-12T11:57:00.001-05:00

What did you do over the weekend? Well, I met up with an AH.MAY.ZING GBA GF and we kinda-sort of ran a marathon/half marathon.

What? You are asking yourself. Well, After Richmond I was feeling that I really wanting to see how well I could do. I had trained for Richmond at a 9:05 pace just in case something happened and Bob (bestest partner in the world) did not toe-to-line. (He did and we had an AMAZING race together and I even snagged a nice PR).

My GBA GF, Ginny did NOT have a "hot" race... I mean she still nailed a time like 30 minutes faster than my best... but it wasn't her race... and she found out later that night why... she had the flu (and btw: still managed an awesome time. Read about it HERE). Well, a couple days after... you know, when she started to feel better (I didn't say more sane), she sent me a text that said something like: "How about this: http://rbmarathon.com/." And like any equally sane runner, I responded: "Yes! And I even have a place for us to stay for free!"

Well, flash forward to my "little" heart procedure and all of my sucktastic runs that led up to this race, I was nervous to say the least. I made a followup appointment with my cardiologist (still funny to type that) and he said everything looked great. Not only great, but he did not see any reason why I couldn't run a marathon in a few days. When I discussed with him my lethargy, he said that every person was different and to trust my body, to listen to my body. Whatever that means!

So, I set off for Delaware... not exactly sure what I was going to do. Thinking it was crazy that we decided to run a race, at the beach, in DECEMBER! Since it was a small race, I figured it would be slightly easy to switch to the half marathon if I wasn't feeling the full. I thought I would know when I picked up my bib. In fact despite a minor brain fart, the sign I was looking for all along became quite clear.

Bib# = 247 (as in: 2+4+7 = 13) I opted for the Half. (Sorry Ginny that I missed that the first go around!)

Ginny and I stayed at a friend's house and they were super hosts (meaning no qualms with us being in bed by 9pm). We woke up around 5 and started to prep. TG had sent me some knew tunes and this was the first race I had planned to listen to music the whole time. Off to the races and before long, we started in the over-cast, windy (small craft advisory) beach morning. Ginny promised to help me start slow... and if you follow me, you know starting slow is so not my thing. We did great. She stopped at the first water stop and I just kept going. Ginny caught me and we ran together/solo (if you catch my drift) for the first 4. Around 5, I dropped my Gu and Ginny passed me as I stopped to pick it up. I could see her and her cute santa hat for the next 2 miles, but ran my race.

Ready to race... and feeling FESTIVE!

I was super excited that I was feeling good. I walked some water stops. I listened to my body... and well, I ran. By mile 6, I was glad I had opted for the half. Miles 5-8, 9.5-11 were on a gravel path and this bothered my IT band. At the turn around at mile 9, I waved Ginny on (not that she saw me) and decided this was my race to lose. I was doing awesome... was a sub 2 hour in the cards?

I decided to continue to listen to my body. I walked another water stopped, fueled and enjoyed the run; the tunes helping TREMENDOUSLY! This was the best I had felt running in a long time. At mile 12, my (borrowed Garmin) said: 1:54, and I knew that sub 2 was NOT in the cards but decided I would see how close I could get to it.

I raced hard. I was positive. I KNEW I could get a PR. My last mile was sub 8.

Finish time: 2:02:05 = 11 minute PR

Without thinking.... I immediately walked back to mile 25 to wait for Ginny.... yes, it the cold, windy! I waited for her. I cheered on all the runners. I saw the winner of the marathon zoom by with such determination. When I spotted her jolly hat, I hopped in step and decided to try and be encouraging... run her in. Ginny did AWESOME (didn't even need me). Read her recap HERE.

The course was scenic. I am so running this next year - probably the Full. It went through neighborhoods, along the ocean, through a wooded path, more neighborhoods, along the Bay, through a state park and back. The race is capped at 1800 (900 for each race) and the 1500+ runners that ran made for a nice, small town feel. Ginny even tossed her vest at a water stop and they brought it back to the finish line for her... how awesome is that?

I cannot say enough about the race, the time with my friends, racing with Ginny... and for me getting my MoJo back. Yes, I think I have regained my confidence since the "procedure"... and really that is ALL God wanted me to get out of this race. The 11 minute PR was just the icing!

Race on my Friends!

Mamma Bear moment..

2011-12-07T10:30:00.001-05:00

Today is Wacky-Tacky Day at school. The kids were encouraged to have crazy miss-matched clothes and funky hair. My son, Brock decided he wanted not only for his hair to be spiked, but for me to put PINK hair spray in his hair. He LOVED it. He wore his pants backwards. He had one running shoe on and one church dress shoe (and promised he could walk just fine). He wore a Pilot's shirt backwards and a HUGE smile.

(BTW: Kiera was cute too. Totally teased hair, braided hair, pink hair... and clothes that were completely Over The Top - think polka-dots, stripes, plaids, leopard print, etc!)

So why did another mom judge him? SERIOUSLY! Judge me, I can totally handle it... judge my children in front of me? You better HOLD ON TIGHT!

FYI: Boys wearing pink will NOT and does NOT determine their sexual identity. For that matter: boys choosing to dance or enjoy typically female activities won't either. Same thing goes for girls... they can play any sport or wear whatever clothes they want. No my son did NOT ask to wear a dress to school, but do you know what... if he had... I would have been perfectly okay with that. If that isn't wacky-tacky, what is?

Maybe if we allowed our children to express themselves a little more and we were more accepting of them, we would allow them to grow up in LOVE not judgement. Then our children could make a difference and change the world. Instead, we force them into traps of failure... expectations that suit us, not them.

Why can't we love every child for who they are, not who we want to make them be.

To THAT mom: I choose to LOVE. I choose to embrace my children's personalities. I choose to guide them in the right direction without stifling their creativity and awesomeness.

"So the moral of this story is: Who are you to judge?
There's only one true judge, and that's God
So chill, and let my Father do His job"

~ Salt-n-Pepa "None of Your Business"

BTW: Your child... the one you didn't allow to have pink hair... was TOTALLY jealous! ;-)

Not so HOT, DC Hot Chocolate 15k

2011-12-06T12:33:00.001-05:00

Team: DC Tri MoCo group

Back in September, when TG had suggested the DC Hot Chocolate 5k & 15k race, it seemed like a great idea. I sent out an invite to the DC Tri MoCo group to see if we could get a large team together to really rock the 15k. I was surprised at the response. I think in the end close to 20 people signed up.

As the date approached, some were injured, some had plans out of town... and some well, just didn't show up. THESE were the smart people!

As December 3rd approached and packet pickup loomed, I started to have my doubts about this race location. Flash forward to the WORST organized race on the planet... seriously... RAM has taken lots of heat for what happened in DC, even a FB page was created HERE to where everyone started demanding refunds.

Just to break down a few of the logistics errors:

1. Had to pay to park to actually pick up bibs and attend crappy expo

2. Had to pay $10 for parking (and HAD to carpool) only to find out that this premium spot was almost 1.5 miles from the start (meaning you had to walk), free park was right NEXT to start. Not to mention paid parking pass was NEVER even looked at by any parking official - WASTED money.

3. There was only one main entrance to the race location and it caused MAJOR gridlock (as if DC wasn't known for its gridlock) and delayed the start of the 15k by over an hour.

4. Course was very narrow and dangerous... oh and I forgot to mention that they sold over 20,000 race bibs.

5. The chocolate at the end... really was not all that!

You can read more about how bad it was by simply Googling: DC Hot Chocolate 15k Fail.

-----

On a more personal level, this was my first race since my heart "procedure" and it wasn't good. I wanted to stop many times. My energy level just wasn't there (might have been that I fueled for a 8am start time). I almost quit at mile 6. I walked A LOT!

In the end, my time was: 1:33 for 9.10 miles (supposed to be 9.3 but course was short). I finished... but just barely. First 4 mile splits: 7:40, 8:10, 8:30, 8:45..... yeah, last 5 were BAD!

I have a followup appointment this afternoon with cardiologist... I need to get to the bottom of this lack of energy... I got some plans and I kinda need to have my energy back!

November Recap...

2011-12-04T17:01:00.001-05:00

A little late:

Total Miles for November: 148 (down from 187 in Oct) not bad where I wasn't allowed to run for 9 days due to heart issue.

Run: 114 (down from 174 in Oct)
Cycling: 32 (up from 8 in Oct)
Swim: 2 (up from 0 in Oct)

Total mileage in 2011: 2184 miles

Races in November:

Rockville 10k - November 6, 2011 DNF - Recap
Richmond Marathon - November 12, 2011 (And my recap: Pre-race, Part Un, Part Deux, and Part Trois) and a 13 minute PR!

How did your November stack up?

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Trying...

2011-11-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Trying to take a family pic during Thanksgiving:

FINALLY!

BTW: The kids had it in one shot:

In Laymen's terms...

2011-11-28T10:02:00.001-05:00

Most of the comments from my last post expressed concern about what all of that means. Can I still run? Am I fixed? Will it come back?

Here is the deal:

I basically had two "wires" and we are supposed to only have one. The pair (I was born with them) would cause a circuit causing me to go into tachycardia without a known trigger. (Some people it is cold air, coffee, coughing... etc, I did not have a clear trigger). Dr. S, went in and "zapped" the "weaker" one so I won't have a circuit anymore.

Am I fixed? Yes... but I wonder why God gave me 2... what if the other one "craps" out one day... but I have FAITH it was the right decision?

Can I still run? Yes... but have to take it easy. I ran 6 yesterday... yeah, I know, I wasn't supposed to. I felt weird. Maybe I was hyper-sensitive. Not sure. What I do know was that my heart was racing:

1. Could have been that I was clocking 7:40 miles - my legs had a week break
2. I over dressed and was burning up - think UA cold gear top and it was 45 degrees (stupid mistake)
3. Could be that my heart always races, I was just freaking out.
4. I was light headed - but was that because I was too hot and was running too fast?

I ran 6 miles in 48:45... CRAZY fast for me. I went home instead of running 12 more.

Will it come back? No, unless I am super-human (which I know is debatable)!

If this has taught me ANYTHING... it would be to LISTEN to your body! LISTEN! If something feels wrong, get it checked out.

I'm alive...

2011-11-27T16:36:00.001-05:00

It was successful. I lived (kind of obvious now, right?). I had a nice Thanksgiving (even traveled to NC and back).

Before

So, what happened? I arrived at the hospital. Not a sexy patient, huh? While getting prepped, I overheard the nurses talking about my doctor and they said: "Oh, he is the best, technically! He is really good, precise." And I thought, "Well, I technically deserve the best, right?"

Soon, Dr. S was in and briefed me, Lyle and I had our questions answered and I was being pushed away to the ROOM. The ROOM was freezing. The "guys" in there were funny. One warned me that the "pads" they had to place on my back were cold... and he wasn't lying. He started at the top of my back, and slowly placed them down my back to right above my "bottom". That is when I said, "Hey, I think you need to tell me your first name, that is almost 1st base." Then he laid me down and placed much smaller ones all on my chest area. I said, "Now, that's 2nd base." The anesthesiologist injected his "juice" in my IV and I said, "Should it sting?"

Ready to go home!

That's all I remember. I don't remember his answer. I don't remember talking to the doctor after. I don't remember calling my children at school and talking to them. I don't remember any texts I sent (did you get one?).

Diagnosis: Atrioventricular Nodal Reentry Tachycardia (AVNRT)

"AV nodal reentrant tachycardia (AVNRT), or atrioventricular nodal reentrant tachycardia, is a type of tachycardia (fast rhythm) of the heart. It is a type of supraventricular tachycardia (SVT), meaning that it originates from a location within the heart above the bundle of His. AV nodal reentrant tachycardia is the most common regular supraventricular tachycardia. It is more common in women than men (approximately 75% of cases occurring in females). The main symptom is palpitations. Treatment may be with specific physical maneuvers, medication, or rarely Synchronized cardioversion. Frequent attacks may require radiofrequency ablation, in which the abnormally conducting tissue in the heart is destroyed.

AVNRT occurs when a reentry circuit forms within or just next to the atrioventricular node. The circuit usually involves two anatomical pathways: the fast pathway and the slow pathway, which are both in the right atrium. The slow pathway (which is usually targeted for ablation) is located inferiorly and slightly posterior to the AV node, often following the anterior margin of the coronary sinus. The fast pathway is usually located just superior and posterior to the AV node. These pathways are formed from tissue that behaves very much like the AV node, and some authors regard them as part of the AV node."

From a great partner who gets me!

Recovery: I was told I couldn't run until Monday. I had to take it easy for 48 hours. It was hard. I had a lot of stuff to do and thank God I wasn't cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I rested the ONLY way I know how... just when the pain was unbearable.

It was definitely a THANKFUL Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law asked us each to write a Haiku to share at the table. Here is mine:

Sometimes to be strong
It takes a little shocking
Thankful for that beat

A little heart thing...

2011-11-21T16:26:00.001-05:00

I know you have been waiting, but I needed to finish my RIC recap. Its done... did you read all three parts?

Anyway, so back to the cardiologist appointments:

Cardiologist #1: Okay, this was a "guy" from the same practice as the cardiologist that saw me in the ER. He seemed nice enough. He seemed to know what he was talking about and how we should proceed EP Study and Ablasion.

Editor's note: "An EP study is a procedure known as an electrophysiology study, which is conducted to determine the cause of heart arrhythmia. Depending on the results of the EP study, your doctor may recommend undergoing a catheter ablation to treat the arrhythmia. A catheter ablation is one of a number of procedures that could result from an EP study, and is one of the most common."

But his comment right at the end sealed his fate:

Me: "So can I run Richmond marathon in 2 days?"

Doc: "Yeah... sure. But I'm against you guys doing that anyway."

Me: "You guys?"

Doc: "You know, women and endurance sports!"

Me: "So you are sexist and not an athlete."

Doc: uncomfortable laugh

I left knowing my options and at the time the ONLY one that mattered was that I could run Richmond (and I did... btw: Did you check out the three part recap?)

This past Thursday I got a second opinion. This doctor came referred by my GP and several DC Tri MoCo members, so I figured it was worth the shot. After a few little "front office staff glitches", I met Dr. S and he had the SAME diagnosis and recommendation, but the difference was: He was a runner. Well, you know the ones that run a marathon every 10 years (he said he was due one, his 30s was slipping away, of course I suggested Richmond!)

So this all brings us to today. Yes... today. I am heading to the Hospital to get my heart zapped and ablated (is that a word?). I slept really well. I am confident that we found this little hiccup early and I will be healthy a ready to run... soon.

The little 10k Turkey Trot where I had hoped to PR... is a DNS. My plan is to be back for the DC Hot Chocolate 15k on December 3rd... and then... who knows.

I would covet your prayers this morning around 8am EST. I am in the BEST hands in the world. My God knows me and knows EXACTLY what needs to be done. (Can I get an AMEN?)

Richmond Marathon - Part Trois

2011-11-21T09:11:00.001-05:00

After the half way point, my right IT Band was screaming. I tried not to let on, but I am confident that Bob picked up on it. We were still ahead of the 4:45 pace group and just cruising along. We knew what to expect since we had driven this part with G.

We headed up a small hill, where there were definitely cheer leaders, around a turn, down a straight away, and then up the slight hilly turn to enter Lee Bridge. We saw Bob's family there too, but they weren't expecting us yet and missed the shot. Their cheers meant the WORLD though!

I am happy we had driven this bridge and that G had given us advice. We managed to stay with the 4:45 pace group here, but it wasn't windy at all. Actually, Bob commented that it was to our backs. It was in FULL sun, which made it both nice and uncomfortable at some points. I did try to take in the view of Richmond. Bob and I took turns pulling ahead of each other here (more on that later). We were definitely slowing down. I was starting to talk myself out of finishing, but my IT Band only hurt when I was walking.

As you can tell from this picture, my posture was awful by mile 15- 16. One of the MTTographers snapped this of me and Bob. One of the few of us together on the course. Look how strong Bob looks, great posture. The only positive thing I can say here is: "Holy quad muscle!" SWEET!

I wish I was able to maintain a better posture. Bob actually reminded me of the Chi check list later and I tried to straighten up, but it is very common for me to look like this when I get fatigued.

After the bridge Bob admitted that he had pulled up short of a walk interval and his right calf had seized. We slowed. I told him it was about finishing, not about staying with the 4:45 group. Slowly they pulled away. We were both very quiet here. It was a LONG straight street. G had warned us about it. By the time we hit the right turn, I was starting to feel a little better emotionally. I figured, we are at 18... we are going to make it. I could tell that Bob was fatigued. I admitted to him that I wasn't feeling great and that I could in no way pull away from him even if I wanted too. I NEEDED him to know this. I needed him to know that we started together, we would finish together.

Within two miles, I started to break down mentally. I was holding back tears. My hip (IT Band) hurt sooooo bad. I told Bob that I was starting to mentally break down and he said magic words: "We only have a 10k left!"

WOW! It was powerful. I decided to start talking to everyone. Encouraging them as they passed us and we passed them. I started thanking EVERY volunteer. I started to play mind games with myself in a positive way. Just 30 seconds of walking and back to running. I could do this. We could do this. I was getting kind of cocky, proud that I was internally being positive and then the negative would set in. Had to bounce it right out. I mean, by now we were at mile 22. WE HAD THIS!

This part of the course was awesome. Lots of spectators and nice neighborhoods. Lots of signs, music, a LOT of things to pump you up. We walked through every water stop. We accepted the cold towels to wipe ourselves down. During miles 22-25, Bob and I took turns pulling each other. It wasn't even intentional. It was just that we are partners... we know each other. Hard to explain, but we ran in-synch.

By mile 23 I realized that the 5:00 pace group had not caught us, but I thought it was too early to mention it to Bob - I mean, what if they were right behind us? We could not see the 4:45 pace group yet. I said to Bob: "When we get to mile 25, remind me to tell you something!" I decided that a mile left was a good point to mention it. I WOULD be getting a nice PR which wasn't my goal, but I know that Bob wanted to give me that.

During this stretch we did get a few comments about the Galloway method. I think people were a little impressed that we kept up the 30:30 for this long. But it WAS going to get us to the finish line. (Bob saw the photographer and told me to smile... totally faking it here, but not bad for mile 24!) Around mile 24.5 there was a huge Gospel choir singing. It was amazing. I started praying, thanking God!

At mile 25, I go to mention to Bob that we hadn't seen the 5:00 pace group, but instead he pulled out his phone to call his family. Immediately, I thought... okay, it wasn't meant for me to tell him. Bob said that his family was at mile 26, waiting for us. Bob stopped the GymBoss, and said, "Let's run it in!" We did! I was choking back tears as I glanced at my watch. We were going to be SOOOOO under 5 hours. It felt awesome.

As we cleared the tiny hill to make it down to the finish line, we passed his cheering family. I grabbed his hand. We crossed the mat as Bob lifted my hand. We finished. We embraced. We kissed. We had finished! Even the clock time was under 5 hours, but our Garmins said: 4:50:28, 26.8 miles! YES!

We did it. It was so awesome to run this with Bob!

Official time was 4:50:19 (Bob beat me by a second)

And YES; I am already registered for next year. Join me in Richmond in 2012?

Richmond Marathon - Part Deux

2011-11-18T17:44:00.001-05:00

The plan that Bob had decided on (using the Jeff Galloway method) was the 30:30. Meaning 30 second walk:30 second run. It does sound complicated, but really, it is what got us to the finish line (more on that later).

Instead of starting right away on the 30:30, Bob wanted to do a slow jog to warm up. It was cold and crowded so it made sense. I allowed him to the set the pace. I think this is the first race that I actually remember the first mile. We took it slow and got to see all of the spectators... and to our surprise, we saw Bob's family right before mile 1. We both waved like crazy and smiled big! It was an awesome surprise and definitely put some pep in our step.

We started the 30:30 around mile 2 and our run pace was steady around 8:00-8:15. Honestly, for me the hardest part of the 30:30 is actually stopping appropriately. Too short can cause "jarring" in the joints and muscles (more on that later).

The course was beautiful. Fall weather, plenty of spectators and lots to see. The neighborhoods were wonderfully supportive and having our names on our bibs were great. Bob and I cruised in the first half. We felt great. It was still chilly so I kept my arm warmers (socks, thanks to G) on and my gloves (also thanks to G). The guy close to me in the Brooks jacket was Bob.

The first part is relatively flat. A couple small hills, but NOTHING to worry about. It actually was a fun half.

Bob and I talked constantly. I HIGHLY recommend running a marathon with someone you haven't seen for a while. Gives you a lot to talk about. It felt very easy.

We saw Bob's family again around mile 5. We acted crazy and it definitely pumped us up again. The sun started to get warmer around mile 6, so I tossed my gloves. And by mile 7 (near the bridge), I lost my arm warmers. The bridge was beautiful. Mile 8-10 were gorgeous along the river. It was stunning. G did not drive us on this part before and I instantly knew why. It might have taken away from the beautiful scenery. It was STUNNING. Also, around mile 7, we caught the 4:45 pace group. Bob and I smiled - BIG! If only would could hang with them.

Around mile 9, my right IT Band started to ache. I seriously started to wonder if I was going to make it. I pulled up short at a walk interval, and it seized up. I tried to not let on that I was in pain. As we approached mile 10, it started to get hilly. G had driven us on this part, so we knew what to expect. It was hard to go from a relatively flat course to hills from 10-12, but at least we had expected it. Bob tossed his jacket and I tossed my arm warmers to his family at mile 11.5. Again, we felt boosted by seeing them and as they were driving to the next part, they beeped as they passed us.

We crossed the mat at 13.1 at 2:20. We were doing EXTREMELY well... too well, but more on that later.

Richmond Marathon - Part Un

2011-11-17T10:15:00.001-05:00

Did I make you wait long enough? LOL! If you remember MCM, I had 7 parts to my recap. Hope this wont be as long.

So, G and I were in bed, lights out at 9pm. We slept warmly (temp in room when we woke up was like 78 degrees), and sometime around 1am, I just had to pee - thanks to the over hydration the day before (per my cardiologist's orders).

And after that, I tossed and turned. At 5am, G and I went downstairs to grab some breakfast, only to have it not be open until 6am, and I tried not laugh when G says to the nice lady: "Do you think I could just get a banana and you pretend we were never here?" She obliged G.

Upstairs we chatted. We dressed. We were matchy-matchy, Twinsies:

And then Bob and I said good bye to G, as she was off to meet up with her MTT posse (and some strange man to give him his bib... lol).

Bob was eerily calm. I was freaking out. I KNEW I could make it 26.2 miles, but I was so afraid that I would let Bob down. Not run the way he needed. Run out of things to talk about (and if you know me this is very rare). What if my heart freaked again. I had a plan to bow out and rejoin him at mile 20 should that happen... but I DID NOT WANT that to happen.

Soon, we started to walk to the start line. We made it to the "main drag" as the 8k started. There were definitely very fast people out there and it was definitely cold. Bob had brought us old finish line wraps to keep warm in and of course I had "sexy" throw away clothes on. Seriously the pants were from my "old days" and were huge not to mention for some reason had holes in the crotch (LOL).

We watched the 8k. We watched the million heats of the Half Marathon get started (seriously, there were like 25 starts of the half). I undressed. We queued in our corral. We were behind the 5:00 hour pace group. We were ready. We had to be... it was our turn to start!

Richmond Marathon (Pre-race)

2011-11-14T11:25:00.001-05:00

What's a girl to do when she has been cleared by the cardiologist to run a marathon 2 days prior and her husband has the next day off? (I know, I still owe you what the cardiologist said... )

I decided, that I would text Ginny to see if she had a couch free and drive down on Thursday night instead of Friday morning. With Friday being Veterans, Hubs was off and it would save on time to go after traffic. Made sense to me... but might have been a better idea to leave in daylight.

That being said, I made the trip to Richmond in record time and snuggled into a cozy 3rd floor sanatorium to rest up for a morning run on the course.

By 5:30, G and I were on our way to meet Tonia to run part of the course. Originally, we had thought we would run it after Bob arrived into town, but timing would be close, so I opted to get it in (instead of skip it) so I could be ready to help Bob as needed.

I felt like the 3.5 miles sucked. I could tell that I had not run for a week and that my lungs were NOT use to running in the cold weather already. Running with Ginny and Tonia was AWESOME. Running the course and seeing where we would be finishing and starting really did help me tremendously. Conversation flowed and it was like we had known each other for years. I must admit that I was sucking wind with these ladies, so I let them do a lot of the talking. And yes ladies and gentlemen... G and T looked as adorable as ever in matching skirt outfits (without even planning it).

After the run, Ginny and I went back to her house and did a little coloring to my hair. (Let me take a moment to just say how adorable Ginny's kids are. Seriously, would steal them!) Afterwards, we met the "posse" for bagels and I was able to meet some incredible women! WOW! To be surrounded by such awesome moms/women and to see how excited they all were to run. Good times!

I spent more time with Ginny's family and then we picked Bob up and drove the course. Time did not allow for us to drive the entire course, but Ginny told us the first part we skipped would be ok (more on that later). It was good to finally catch Bob and to see that he was excited yet ready. We drove the course and got all of the pointers. Ginny told us where the hills were, where the sun would be, and more importantly, where the WIND would be. This proved to be invaluable. Ginny was awesome and I was getting more nervous. Bob seemed to be chill (which bothered me a little. ;-))

Me and Bob at the Expo

We headed to the expo and that is when I realized that Bob and I were only 2 numbers apart. 6388 and 6390. Talk about mojo! ;-) We met Tonia and her girls who are MAJORLY adorable! The expo could have been better, but we made the best of it.

Me, Ginny, and Pam

After the expo we headed to a little Italian place just outside of the city... and when G made our reservation it was for 28 - yeah... we are EPIC like that. First to arrive was Pam with her friend Michelle and adorable 10 year old Jaden. Pam came into town to "watch" Jaden while Michelle ran her first half (she had done marathons before). Pam was exactly like she is in her blog but for some reason her southern accent threw me....I don't really know why... she is from Tenn.

The rest of the seats started to fill and we all chatted with excitement. It was good times. I believe most of us were anxious, ready to knock out what the next day had in store for us... so a little before 7pm, we said our goodbyes, wished each other the best race and retired to our "quarters" for the night.

One last picture of the group before we headed out:

We're READY!

2011-11-11T20:02:00.001-05:00

I know... I know... I have a lot to update you on. This week flew by and I was "cleared" to run Richmond. I'm here. Bib number in hand: 6390, Bob's is 6388.

And just settled into my room after a nice pasta dinner with the GBA Posse:

Good night, folks! See you on the flip-side.

First DNF

2011-11-07T18:56:00.002-05:00

I received my first DNF!

Here is what went down: I woke up and was excited to run this little 10k for fun. Easy 6.2 miles during my taper, right? I took my vitamins like I do every morning... and just like every morning, I gagged myself... and dry heaved (I seriously do this every morning... so much so that my kids leave the bathroom because it makes them want to puke.) My heart started racing... I didn't think anything of it.

As I was dressing, my heart was still racing. It was weird... but I just got ready, grabbed my stuff and met the gang outside of my house to walk to the start line. I joked about what had happened and how my heart was racing... but didn't think it was anything.

My husband hugged me goodbye and I felt like he was squeezing the breath out of me. It was weird... but I walked with the gang thinking it would go away. As we walked the mile to the start, it did not go away. We started a little jog to warm up and I stopped. Again, still not thinking it was anything seriously... but starting to get a little worried. Of course worrying wasn't going to slow my heart down, so I tried not to think about it.

Race started and I got about 2/10ths of the way in and felt light headed... couldn't catch my breath... pace was 10:15 (odd, right?) and so I went off to the side and stopped. Sat down. Tried to catch my breath. Got up after a few minutes, started walking... and then jogged and decided... NOPE. This race was not going to happen.

I was walking back to the start COMPLETELY embarrassed. I actually removed my bib number and ditched it in the closest trashcan thinking maybe no one would notice that I had quit. Yeah... I was pretty embarrassed.

I walked to the Ambulance... and there was no one in there. So I found a cop and he started knocking and sure enough 3 medics were in there. I felt embarrassed telling them what was wrong. I felt like they would think that I was not a runner. They checked my pulse and were alarmed. Sat me in the "gurney" and checked my blood pressure and heart rate. My heart rate was 156 and was not coming down. My blood pressure was "good" but it is normally low... so they started to talk to me.

Again, I am embarrassed, they are taking my information, I tell them my symptoms, what happened that morning, etc. They are funny. Making me laugh. They want to take me to the ER, but I needed to let the "gang" know that I was going. I mean... Steph saw me stopped, she would have worried Jay or TG.... I asked if I could leave... by now Jay and TG would be finished... and the female medic said: "Sure, because as soon as you faint, you're MINE!"

Okay, that got my attention. I asked to borrow a phone to call Lyle and had him meet me at the race (and to bring my phone). Meanwhile, I am positive the "gang" is waiting for me... worried... but I didn't want to faint by standing up. Lyle arrives, I text TG that I am in the ambulance... and apologize. I actually was thinking how pathetic I was... not even making 2/10ths of a mile.

This group of medics had to remain at the races since it was still going on and I had to get on another "bus" to go to the hospital. The EKG they did in the "bus" wasn't good and they didn't want Lyle to drive me and us wait unnecessarily.

The new "bus" arrived and I had the medic take a picture... why not, right? I look worse in this picture than I was feeling... because I blinked, but the pink bucket was in case I puked. And the medic to my right said, "I am NOT cleaning up puke again today!" And thus started my interesting morning. The two new medics were Chad and Jamie from Ireland. They both had me laughing by cracking jokes. It was funny considering the situation. As we were headed to the hospital (no sirens, mind you), Chad called it in: "Yes, we have a 34 year old, so called runner who barely ran 2/10ths of a mile of a 5k, who thinks she is funny, but really it is just a symptom of her irregular heart beat!" I corrected him:"I was running the 10k." "Even worse", Chad said!

Chad wanted to cut my UA leggings off and I was like: "Do you know how much these things cost? I will strip down, but you are NOT cutting them off." He allowed me to pull them up so he could get the EKG strip there. And he joked: "Man you are so HIGH MAINTENANCE"!

Seriously, my muscles in my tummy hurt form laughing. Not sure it was getting my heart rate down though. Arriving at the hospital, another "bus" arrived, and I said, "Let them go first... that person is probably serious." And Chad said to them: "Is yours serious? Mine is pretty lame!" I cannot make this stuff up. It was funny.

Once inside, it got less fun. Long story short, I was diagnosed with: Supraventricular Tachycardia. It has nothing to do with running or exercising or stress or even anxiety. It is just a "miss-firing" and there is a procedure to fix it. After thinking back, I had two more instances 2 months apart, but never thought anything of it. Most importantly, it is not life threatening.

The important question for my cardiologist (how many 34 yr olds have a cardiologist?) was could I run Richmond this Saturday with Bob. And he said, "Yes." He asked me to see a specialist this week, but that I had shown that when it occurred before I stopped, I sought medical attention and just asked me to do the same thing. And NOT because it was life threatening, but because he wanted to have an EKG for it to document what was going on. I asked several times, and he had no issue with me running Richmond.

I talked to Bob this afternoon. He understands. He wants me to be safe. But assured me that he would be with me and that we would be fine. He also gave me permission not to run. I love this guy... absolutely ZERO pressure from him.

I go on Thursday for a consultation with an EP specialist (whatever EP stands for), but for now, I am to document occurrences and to seek medical attention.

Have you had a DNF? How did you get over it?

Help... I lost my speed

2011-11-04T12:44:00.000-04:00

I succumbed to peer pressure. The DCTri MoCo group, TG to be exact, put out an email about a 10k this Sunday. I have run it before. It is on my stomping ground... but it isn't in my MTP.

So what did you think I did? You guessed it, I registered for it. And so did about 10 other MoCo folks. It should be a fun race.

Since registering, I was trying to work on speed and found out that I have lost it. My speed is no where to be found.

Some of it has to do with marathon training... not really concentrating on speed work, more on endurance. My other thought is that it has gotten cold... like burrrrr at 3:30am... and when testing my speed, my legs feel heavy, my posture stinks (I think I try to curl up as I run,; it makes you warmer, right?), and I made a point to try and run what I thought was "fast" only to have my Garmin read: 9:30 pace. WHAT? I felt like I was running 8:15.

Where did it go isn't too much of an issue as to how do I get it back?

Aaaaaaaaand I decided that I am NOT going to put any pressure on myself for this 10k. Sure, I could try for a PR... but really, a week before my marathon, may not be the best idea. I have decided that this 10k will be COMPLETELY for FUN!

FUN! FUN! FUN!

And I hope I can really enjoy this race... it would be a great prep for Richmond. Did I mention I am STOKED to be running with Bob and to see my GBA** girls? - 8 DAYS AWAY!!!!!

October Rewind & 2011 Recap

2011-11-02T22:23:00.002-04:00

October flew by... like I blinked and it was over.

Here are my stats:

Total Mileage for October: 184 (down from 204 in Sept)

Running: 172 (down from 195 in Sept)
Cycling: 8 (down from 9 in Sept)
Swimming: 0 (0 in Sept) (but I did swim today!)

Total mileage for 2011: 2033 miles

Running: 1258
Cycling: 740
Swimming: 35

I have a little 10k this Sunday (last minute decision) and then Richmond Marathon on the 12th of November. I am getting excited for Richmond. Bob is excited too.

Currently getting together 2012 race schedule. There are half marathons, marathons, sprint and international triathlons, a half ironman... and maybe, just maybe... an ironman. ;-)

How did your October stack up?

Red Heads...

2011-10-31T15:55:00.005-04:00

Saturday, we had snow. Not a lot but enough to make my run cold and wet (more rain than snow). I was supposed to do 12, but I only ran 6. And I'm okay with that. I had planned to run 12 on Sunday.... but as a Red Head, I got a little carried away.

Saturday night was my first adult Halloween party. It was for the DCTri MoCo group. TG and his wife hosted. It was fun. Okay... fun down plays it a little.

I went as Emma Pillsbury from Glee. What? You don't know who that is?

Don't worry... no one besides a 9 year old (with a little prompting) knew who I was either... anyway, she is neurotic and dresses very retro = PERFECT fit for me.

Me:

Not, bad, eh?

There was race talk. There was food. There was adult beverages. And there was A LOT of dancing... mostly to Michael.


That's me in the yellow dress.

And I had lots of FUN! Too much fun dancing... and with one Michael move during Billy Jean... my right knee "went out".

History: My right knee was always my bad knee. Apparently I blew out both ACLs during basketball in HS and never really knew it. By college, playing "side pivot" sports (soccer, tennis, dodge ball, basketball, etc), my right knee would always "go out". Like force me to fall to the ground in pain... but it would get better and I recovered.

Two years ago at a GREAT friends wedding... while dancing (mind you), I blew out my left knee... requiring immediate surgery. Torn ACL, but more importantly (and painful) a torn meniscus. OUCH! Had surgery, gained more weight... and eventually I healed. At the time the Doc said when I had 6 weeks to recover, I needed to repair the ACL in the right knee... flash forward... no 6 weeks recovery period available while training, right? And I woke up Sunday morning in pain. Like I was scared I would be making a call to Bob... I rested. No 12 mile run. I braced it most of the day. I iced it. Massaged it.

Today, while playing with the kids, Brock wanted to race me. My knee was feeling better, but I was still going to rest... but decided... well, lets see! No PAIN! Wahoo!!!!!!!

And so I ran 3 miles today. I could have run more, but I did NOT want to push it. Back on track tomorrow... boy, Taper Island is sure playing tricks on me this time around. 4 hours later, knee still feels good. Praise GOD!

And before you start wondering... yes, I am really that good at dancing (although, TG's wife crushed me during Thriller)... good enough to cause bodily injury. ;-)

Wordless Wednesday (I love my kids)

2011-10-26T09:45:00.000-04:00


Brock officially turning 7 on Sunday, just after he closed his eyes tight to make a wish.


Making Kiera's dream to have pink hair come true - PRICELESS!

Standing Tall

2011-10-25T09:21:00.000-04:00

This morning, I took a stand. I made a decision and most of all, I am sticking to it.

I am tired:

Of the drama.
Of allowing others to control the way my day turns out.
Of feeling inferior and worthless.
Of making excuses.
Of placing objects in my path that sometimes feel too big to conquer.

I am ready to believe:

That I can accomplish the goals I set out before me.
That I can stop feeding the drama in my life.
That I am ready to love myself.
That I will allow Him to set my priorities.
That I am worthy of His love.

What are you ready to believe?

A marathon PR

2011-10-24T12:31:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, my ~~long lost~~ running partner Bob returned to run our last long run of our training cycle. My MTP called for 20. His Jeff Galloway Run/Walk plan called for 27.

Yes, 27 MILES! Bob has been training under the Galloway method since July. He has used Jeff's coaching to guide him to a successful marathon finish. His longest run before Saturday was 24.5 which he did with some road side support from his wife and daughter. I knew that despite it being a very tight weekend (wedding anniversary and Brock's birthday), I had to run this momentous run with him. I mean, after all, he would cross 26.2 miles before 27... and I wanted to be with him to call him a marathoner!!!!!

He picked me up at 4:45. It was 41 degrees. Cold. We drove a short distance to the Mill Trail and started out just before 5. Our plan was to run the 11 mile loop twice and then find the extra miles by circling down to Rock Creek Trail.

The first loop felt great. It was almost entirely done in the dark. Head lamps and lighted brims guided us. I was worried before of my Baltimore Half FAIL, but the 30:30 run:walk was easy. We started off with our runs around 8:30-8:45. At first, walking felt strange... but pretty soon, it was easy to fall into place.

We blabbered on for the first 11 miles non-stop. It had been a month since we had seen each other, so we had a lot to catch up on.

As we passed the car, we opted not to refill our bottles, we were feeling good. The trail the second time was different, because we actually had sunlight. Around mile 18 I remember saying that my hips were starting to talk to me. Not bad... but enough to notice. We were running faster now. Our average was about 8:15 pace for the run. Bob said, "I like the run:walk because I feel like I am actually running." So true. Our conversation hits some lulls on the 2nd loop. Partly because we were fresh out of new thoughts and partly because we were concentrating on running. We were in sync. It was good to have my partner back! We were like rubber bands, pulling each other at different times.

As we were approaching the car for the 2nd time, I noticed that if we ran to Lake Needwood, we would actually be running (or walking) more than 27 miles. Not ideal when we were already going 27 miles so we altered our plan. I was out of fuel and gatorade, so we stopped at the car for less than 2 minutes with 21 miles in the bag. I grabbed more bottles, a Gu and an orange slice (Bob ate 3.... more on that later) and we were off again on Mill trail.

I was tight. My quads ached, my calves were tight... and my hips... more than ached now. Bob looked amazing and didn't have much to complain about. His 24.5 mile run had prepared him for this.

When we started back running, we were averaging under 7:30 on the run part. I was amazed... we had several 30:30 intervals at 7:15 or less and 3 under 7 min pace. At mile 23 I confessed that if we kept this speed up, I wasn't sure I could handle all 27. Bob said it was the orange slices and slowed for me. :-( He was doing awesome.

By 24 my hips were REALLY sore... I think just the constant use. I hadn't run this long since MCM. We were averaging around 8:15- 8:30. At mile 25... I was getting excited. I was hoping I remember to tell Bob congrats at 26.2... and I was afraid I was going to miss it... so I looked at my watch obsessively. Mile 25 was the LONGEST!

At 26.2 (my Garmin was about .10 ahead of his), I said, "How does it feel to be a Marathoner?" holding back tears... and then I realized that we did 26.2 in 5:01... 2 minutes faster than my MCM time. It was awesome! Mile 26.2 to 27 felt awesome. the last .28 was tough... but we wanted to run until Bob's watch read 27 miles.

We embraced. It felt good to be done. Enjoyed cold chocolate milk, watermelon slices... relishing in out feat! My calves were tight. VERY tight. The only way my hips did not bother me was to kinda squat-like.... I was home by 10:15... ice bath by 10:30 and on my way to Annapolis to spend some time with the family by 11.

Bob is ready to conquer Richmond... and I am thrilled to be there along side of him!

Life is good... as G says... ~ savor the run~

Maybe I'm just not a racer

2011-10-20T06:06:00.000-04:00

Were you that kid? The one that got practically perfect scores on all of your class work and homework, but when it came to the test... you bombed? I mean, it wasn't like you didn't know or understand the material. It wasn't like you weren't prepared and didn't study. Oh, you studied... hard... maybe even harder than most. But something happened on test day. Questions seemed confusing. The mutliple choice answers seemed tricky - there were two that could work. You needed to show your work or do the problem following certain rules, not just by showing the answer. UGH.

I WASN'T one of those kids. I did well on my class work and homework and usually did extrememly well on my tests. I wasn't a straight A student.... but pretty close, at least as close as my effort (or lack there of) could have produced. Things like school work came naturally to me. (I'm not bragging but: when you get a 3.4 GPA your first semester in college when you spent 90% of your time not studying or doing work, waiting until literally the last second to begin 10 page papers, etc... then yeah... a natural).

But I starting ~~over-analyzing~~ thinking about the Baltimore Half... but not just the Half, other recent races... actually ALL of my races. I may be *that* kid. The one who prepares... who has the nice training runs. The one who is ready, but come race day.... totally... EPICALLY fails.

I re-read most of my race recaps... and there wasn't a single one where I was absolutely HAPPY with my time or effort. Actually about 80% of them I was down right disappointed. I had trained better. I could have performed better, but something held me back. Pain, puking, injury, illness, dry heaving, hills, fatigued, negative thoughts...

Maybe I am destined to be a great runner... just not a great racer. I mean I can be cool with that; it doesn't mean I am not going to keep trying. But I wonder why?

And another thought...

2011-10-19T05:10:00.000-04:00

I mentioned in my goal assessment that I failed at purging all the negative thoughts from my brain... but I did not elaborate... and I believe it is CONFESSION time.

I am negative. I know you think I am positive. I do *try* to be positive. But like it or not... I see a glass half empty and not only half empty... but I wonder why you got more than I got. Did someone drink out of my glass? Do they like me least? And like every-other-child, I blame it on my childhood. ;-).

Literally, at mile 1.5 as TG and Tonia were slowly pulling away from me, the negativity started:

Its toooo hot.
I should have ditched one layer.
My feet hurt.
Wow, my legs are tight.
Why does my stomach feel like crap?
I suck.
I am not going to keep up.
I am not going to finish.
Hey, are they really running 8:30 pace?
Why are the hills starting already, I thought it was mile 5?

And so on. Yeah... at mile 1.5. Can you imagine what I was thinking at mile 11.5? It wasn't pretty. I even read a book about training your mind and not a SINGLE thought crossed my mind until mile 11.5. Why? And as soon as I remember something... I would defeat the advice by countering it.

And Sunday, while teaching Sunday School to 6th-8th graders, it dawned on me, I never even asked God for help. YIKES! Why on earth did I not go into prayer at the first sign of distress? I even have bible verses on my RoadID (since I have no allergies) and I never read them.

So, even if my legs were feeling super... mentally, I was defeating myself before I even started. I got to get this is check. My legs have been prepared for Richmond. My heart is in it. My spirit is ready.

My brain - NOT SO MUCH!

More on that...

2011-10-18T11:27:00.000-04:00

As I ended Sunday's blog, I had hoped to write a great post yesterday about why on earth I sucked so bad at the Baltimore Half... you remember that post HERE, right?

Besides the normal excuses (lack of sleep, not enough fuel, hilly course)... I believe the main reason was my GBA 20.5 miler the Saturday before. Remember the one at a 9:05 pace HERE. The one that I rocked? The one that I was really feeling all GBA.... until my body was sore ALL WEEK LONG. Seriously, every run last week... my legs were tight. I never felt like I got my groove. I was just getting the miles in according to my MTP (I have been using Hal Higdon's MTP Intermediate II).

And Hal's plan DOES have a Half marathon race built in... yeah... that was where my problem was... oops! According to the plan, you should run a Half Marathon race at week #9, before your two 20 milers... NOT in week 14. I mean the plan called for a 12 mile run... who cares that it was 13.1? Who cares that I scheduled to run a pretty hilly Half Marathon race instead?

Well, apparently my legs care... and my glutes. Yes. I am on Day #3 of resting... not running. Eeeeek! It is killing me, but I know I ran a lot of the course in pain on Saturday. My legs are super tight. I checked into getting a massage, but hubs limited my budget to $50... and what really can you get for $50 in the DC area? Umm... not a massage at the kind of establishment that you frequent during the day (if you catch my drift).

So I have been "sticking" and "rolling" the my legs. Forcing my kids into slave labor by making them stick my "glutes" since I cannot really do it right. There may have been promises of chocolate chip cookies and money involved... but my mouth is shut and their minds have been permanently damaged.

Brock said to me: "Why do your legs hurt so bad when you *only* ran 13... I mean last week you ran 20 and I don't know anybody who runs 20 miles."

Yeah, I am pretty GBA to him... and I LOVE it.

I said, "Well, mommy didn't listen to her body. I didn't follow my plan. I didn't listen to TG when he said I was over training. I thought I would be okay... but I wasn't."

He said, "Well, I think you need to take two of these (holding up my legs) and give them a break!"

So, I am following my almost 7 year old's advice. After all, I do have high hopes for him... Doctor, Lawyer, Minister... but most of all a RUNNER!

A PR (just barely)

2011-10-15T20:42:00.000-04:00

Today, I had ran my 2nd Half Marathon in Baltimore, MD.

There were many FAILS today. I had a nice and normal dinner. I went to bed fairly early, but was awakened by Brock at 3am, Lyle's alarm went off at 4am (he set it when he went to bed and forgot it was Friday), Kiera woke me up at 5am, and the puppy woke me back up at 5:15... UGH. NOT rested at all.

Made it to the race and realized that I had left my fuel in the car. :-( Walked around to see if I could find some fuel... and TG offered me one of his. Found some friends and chatted waiting for the race to start. I did not like waiting an hour and half after the marathon start to begin the half marathon. Walked with TG to the start and found Tonia (pink hair made her easy to find). We were off and immediately, I felt hot. Our Garmins were off due to the buildings and my legs felt incredible tight. Said goodbye to TG around mile 2, and struggled. Mind games did not work. Music did not work. And the HILLS... were bad. By mile 5, my glute was hurting. I saw TG around mile 6.5 and he had already done a major loop. He looked strong.

After mile 7, I walked every hill. I slowly saw my sub 2 hour PR slip away. I got frustrated. I got angry (apparently NOT angry enough).

I finished... just barely... 2:13. Better than 2:20... but YUCK! How on earth did I run 20.5 miles last Saturday on a semi-hilly course at 9:05 pace, and 9:58 pace for this half? More on that tomorrow.

As for my goals:

1. Try not to Suck. - FAIL - I sucked pretty badly.

2. Purge all negative thoughts from my head. - Yeah, I remember this at mile 11.65. :-(

3. Run MY race. - Well, I didn't run TG or T's race, I lost them before mile 3.

4. Remember after mile 7, it is all downhill. - FAIL - the elevation chart was sooo off.

5. Enjoy the crowds. - I did enjoy the crowds, this is a well supported race.

6. Listen to my body - I did LISTEN, maybe too much.

7. Enjoy the time I am running with friends. - I did enjoy waiting for the race to start.

8. Give it enough so that I am not second guessing myself after. - Yeah.. FAIL!

9. Sub 2 hour time. - FAIL!

10. 25 minute PR. - FAIL - 7 minute PR

Baltimore Half Marathon Goals (Bib# 10967)

2011-10-14T20:00:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I will race my first Half (technically it is my 2nd, but running the National Half Marathon with the stomach flu doesn't count, right?). It isn't my "A" race... but maybe it should be.

Today, I went to the expo and got a PINK surprised:


The FAMOUS Tonia - yeah, BE JEALOUS!

With that in mind, here are my top 10 goals:

1. Try not to Suck.

2. Purge all negative thoughts from my head.

3. Run MY race.

4. Remember after mile 7, it is all downhill.

5. Enjoy the crowds.

6. Listen to my body

7. Enjoy the time I am running with friends.

8. Give it enough so that I am not second guessing myself after.

9. Sub 2 hour time.

10. 25 minute PR.

Bib#: 10967

Wordless Wednesday (Before Haircut)

2011-10-12T08:26:00.004-04:00

20.5 miles - DONE!

2011-10-10T09:36:00.000-04:00

Saturday... I DID decide to get up and run before my husband's meeting (which turns out I had to go to too, but I will tell you about *that* later). I wasn't planning on running early, but with a sequence of events on Friday evening... I decided, yes.. nothing was stopping me from getting up early.

At 4:23am, with a semi-restful night sleep I awoke before my alarm due to Gabbi's need to pee. In case you forgot, Gabbi is our new "puppy"... and no matter how many times she pees and poops before bedtime, she ALWAYS feels the need to get up around 4:15 to go to the bathroom. And yes, she does go... like 99.9% of the time or else we would have had serious words by now.

Anywho... I grabbed my stuff before leaving the bedroom and decided, now was as good of time as any to get started. And for the record, my iPod touch is STILL not responding to touch (BOO) and despite syncing Kiera's Nano all night (it did charge though), it did not copy any more songs over... so I set out with only 18 songs. I *knew* I would not be using the Nano for much of the run since half would be in the dark (and I just don't play that way).

It was a cool morning... skirted with a two long sleeve shirts on (one was practically invisible so I needed the other one to keep me warm until at least the sun came up) and I never even shed one of them and knee high socks... pink to be precise.

I decided to try and aim for 9:15 min miles... to see if I could maintain that for 20 miles. It was very creepy in the dark. Some of the trail has no lighting (actually I was writing letters to the county in my head as I was trying to make sure I had proper footing) and I had to depend on cars driving by to make sure I didn't trip.

For the first ten, I felt great. I decided to break the run up into 5 mile segments to only focus on those 5 miles. I enjoyed the first 5. Actually, they flew by. My pace was slightly faster than I had expected, but I felt it would even out on the back stretch... most were around 8:30, one at 8:15. The second 5 were harder. I kept imagining myself quitting. Yeah, it was tough. I finally passed one other runner around mile 8 and it lifted my spirits... although she did not even smile. (Boooo to unfriendliness on the trail.).

The Millennium Trail is exactly 11.8 miles from my house and during the 2nd 5 mile segment, I had talked myself into quitting as I neared my house. TONS of excuses ran through my head. By the time I got to mile 10, I decided the ONLY way I wasn't going to quit as I passed my house was to turn around and run the 10 I had just ran backwards. The sun had come up... and despite NOT wanting to continue, I *knew* if I passed my house, I would stop. I decided to use the headphones for the 2nd 10 miles.

The 3rd 5 mile segment FLEW by. I was jamming, smiling as the songs came on and I felt alive. This part of the 20 miles was my fastest... I think the music really pumped me up and actually made me think that I might want to wear headphones for the Half this Saturday to see if it helps me with the mind games.

The 4th 5 mile segment was hilly and started to push me down. Literally, up one hill I felt like I was walking. I looked and my pace was like 10:41... yeah, I practically was. I decided just use my arms and get up that hill that lasted forever. I did it and had a nice down hill before another gradual incline. I KNEW that if I could just get up that one, I was set. 18.3 miles and I was DONE... and then suddenly a GREAT song was playing, and I knew that I was nearing my house, I would make it home in time for the meeting... I knew I had beaten the 20 miles. 20.5 miles in 3:06 (I think a 9:05 average).

I raced in, FB'd about the run and washed my face, changed my shirt and headed to the church meeting. I did not even have time to change... well, maybe if I had not FB'd. ;-) Sitting at the meeting was AWFUL on my legs. My body was seizing. I had the chills, the kids were needy... I could NOT get out of there fast enough. The rest of the day I felt great.... as long as I kept moving. When I stopped, my legs ached. I just kept moving... and when Brock asked to ride bikes... I did. 7.5 miles... albeit very slow.

I noticed a little pain in my neck as I was running, but nothing severe. As the day progressed, I had a "knot" appear. It only hurts if I touch it, but it is weird. Thoughts? It isn't a bug bite, it is right along my spine. Again... it only hurts when I touch it... (so don't touch it right?).

Friday's Fret, Fact, & Fun

2011-10-07T12:41:00.000-04:00

Fret - My schedule says that I have 20 miles tomorrow.... 2-0- MILES. And my husband has a meeting at 8:45 am. As much as I am an early bird... I CANNOT possibly complete 20 miles before 8:30 (got to give him at least 15 minutes to get there). He suggested I run it in the afternoon... and as much as the weather would make it work, I have a difficult time running with food on my stomach (I prefer to run pre-breakfast)... so my fret is... how on earth am I going to get 20 miles in this weekend.

Fact - I have been working a lot lately. Subbed 3 times this week and worked my "real" job twice, plus meetings and other appointments mixed in there.... with that said, I still managed to get all of my runs in: 32 miles to be exact. Where there is a will there is a WAY! (help me chant that with my fret above!)

Fun - I haven't been have much fun lately, aside from running (yes, 90% of the time, I do think it is fun). I am kinda thinking about a new hair-do, and have lots of ideas, I just need to "toe it to the line" and commit. After all, it is just hair, right? It will grow back!

Wordless Wednesday (just not my words)

2011-10-05T19:10:00.000-04:00

Confidence...

2011-10-04T08:36:00.000-04:00

I admit, when I see posts about others accomplishments in racing, it makes me a little jealous and A LOT envious.

Ginny posted about an EPIC race (HERE)... first female overall. Tonia recently posted about her top finish (HERE). A local guy in my Tri club posted a race recap (HERE) where he said something that REALLY caught my attention: "Inaugural year".... his first year in competing in Tris he did Olympics, an Ironman and a Half Ironman (although the swim was cancelled due to unsafe conditions)... his FIRST year.

My first year, this year, I *only* did: 1 Sprint and 1 Olympic. And while the Olympic was pretty cool, I felt good about my finish, there was definitely room for improvement. And reading other race reports makes me BELIEVE that I can improve... obviously, I didn't just sign up for a HIM because I believed I would suck. I BELIEVE I can train adequately and compete. No, I won't win AG... but I can compete against the most competitive person I know... ME!

And when I compare myself to you, it isn't that I am being negative about my abilities, it is more that I see so much potential in me. Your races, your places, your goals achieved - pump me up. I feel that I can and WILL be successful! It makes me believe that I TOO can compete in the same fashion. I may not have the same result (it could be even better ;-)), but my goal is the same intensity, to feel the same way you did in your race report.

RACE on, my friends!

Just Another Manic Monday...

2011-10-03T09:01:00.000-04:00

I enjoy subbing, I really do. It pays well. I get to set my own scheduled (except I hate saying no). I get to spend 7 hours with adorable kids (mostly) and best of all... I am kinda a ROCK STAR at school - think your coolest teacher ever x 500 --- yeah, a student in my K-class just told me that!

The thing is... trying to get my run done (only 5 miles today), 2 kids up and ready, 2 dogs (one of which is a puppy and refuses to go into the yard by herself - spoiled?) fed and "pottied", shower and get ready myself, pack my bag for Run Club... Mondays when I sub are CRAZY!

I think I mentioned that since I do get up around 3:30 am most mornings to run, I tend to go back to sleep. 90% of the time after I have showered... sometimes, I don't (I know, gross right?). This morning was one of those mornings... and my kids were very sweet... (for SOME reason) and let me sleep in... and then I woke up and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off (I have seen this... it isn't pretty and neither was I). There was rushing, there WAS screaming (I know... horrible) But alas, we all made it to school ON TIME (even enough time to write this before all my students came in).

Was your Monday Manic or just right?

Now I just have to make it up to the poor kids tonight!

September Recap

2011-10-02T05:30:00.000-04:00

Wow... where did September go? Here are my stats:

Total Mileage for September: 204 (up from 176 in August)

Running: 195 miles (up from 154 in August)
Cycling: 9 miles (down from 15 in August)
Swimming: 0 (down from 3 in August)

Total Mileage for 2011: 1861 miles (INSANE!)

How did your September stack up?

Dear Non-Runner Friend...

2011-10-01T10:56:00.000-04:00

Dear Non-Runner Friend:

I know you cannot understand why I refuse to "party" on a Friday night. Despite being a 34 mother of two children (meaning not much of a life) who wake up before dawn almost EVERY morning (I found Brock playing with Legos at 4am yesterday like it was 12pm), I *need* sleep before my long runs. And while you are at, Saturdays I will be exhausted too... did you run 10+ miles this morning?

No, I am not running away from anything... well, maybe I am... from the stresses of life... some people eat (use to do that), some people drink (only if I am carb consuming), and others find different activities, but for me... running has restored me. I do enjoy it. It has allowed me to reclaim my individuality (have you seen my running outfits lately) and I have found many successes!

Yes, getting up at 3:30 am to run is INSANE! I am sure almost any runner would admit that too. But for me, I would rather run outside than on a treadmill any day. Soon the snow will come and Milles will be my best friend... but I bet I will still have my workout done before you get up.

It is very difficult for me to have conversations about items other than running, training, aches, cycling, swimming, races - races I want to run, races I have run, races that I am scared to run,... unless you want me to talk about PTA or my children. Running, training... it is like my job. You talk about your job ALL the time...

I know you think it is weird that I talk about my blog friends like I *actually* have met them (only a few). Some of them I feel closer to than my real life friends. Why? Well, they listen. They get me. They understand. They text me at 5am on race day just to say good luck. They stalk me on line to see how I did... secretly cheering me on. And YES, I do the same thing! I know their splits before they do!

No, I am NOT going to stop running, training anytime soon. Why? Well, I like to do it. I want to do it. You choose to party on a Friday night and I choose to start my run at 5am. I don't judge you... so quit judging me!

We're friends still, right?

Great!

Jen

Feelings after an actual conversation I had yesterday with a "friend".

Friday's Fret, Fact, & Fun

2011-09-30T08:20:00.000-04:00

Fret: Honestly, besides the Baltimore Half PR goal setting that I mentioned yesterday, not many frets going on. Yay!

Fact: First trip to the ER was for my new puppy. Gabbi had an allergic reaction to her vaccines yesterday. It was a totally scary situation. Had we spent another 20 minutes at my mother-in-laws we would have missed it and she probably would have died. Kind of scary. And Dr. Dan was AWESOME. Stayed late, and only charged us a minor fee despite all that was done to make her better. We have NO IDEA which vaccine she is allergic too, which means single shot for the next several weeks. Remember yesterday when I was complaining about those 2am wake up calls? I think I am a little more in love now.

Fun: The run club is going VERY well. 24 (one showed up in Crocs and we did not allow him to participate), 2nd & 3rd graders ran 3/4 of a mile on Monday and today, we hope to get 25, 4th & 5th graders to run a mile this afternoon. It was hard to teach the Monday group to run slow... show them endurance. The way the we did it was to have them stay behind us for the first lap, let them run the second lap, and then had them stay behind us the last 2 laps. Right at the end, they were allowed to pass us. We had 8 kids who ran the entire 3/4 of a mile without stopping... Kiera was one of them - YAY! The race is October 23rd.

3TT

2011-09-29T05:30:00.000-04:00

1. I think I am really enjoying this low mileage week, especially after two 10s and a 21 last week. I am amazed at how fast my legs feel on 5 and 6 mile runs... this is WHY we follow a plan, right? Remind me this when I am return to cursing it next week when I bump back up before a taper.

2. I am starting to freak out about attempting a dramatic PR at Baltimore Half Marathon on October 15th. It never dawned on me that I had potential to get a huge PR. I was fine with treating it as a long run. Until... coach gave me pointers on making it. I hate the pressure I put on myself.

3. Gabbana is a pain in the rear. It is like the time you REALLY want another baby (you know, after your 1st baby is easy...). You get pregnant, forget the morning sickness, the sleepless nights, the heartburn, the labor pains, the sore nipples... more sleepless nights... only for those cute smiles, silly giggles, and precious moments.

Yes, Gabbi and I *do* have a lot of moments. Most of those moments are awesome. The moments that aren't so awesome seem to be harder on me. I know it will get better... but whose idea was it to get a "puppy" in the middle of marathon training? Pleeeeeaaassssssse, stop barking at 2am!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T09:00:00.000-04:00

June 10, 2012 - yes, I DID!

Last Saturday

2011-09-27T20:03:00.003-04:00

Last Saturday, I had to tackle a 20 miler all by my lonesome. Despite being offered awesome company by G and T to run 20 with them on Sunday, I had to stay close to home (this is somewhat debatable... but lets just call it what it is... laziness).

The local Road Runners Experienced (XP) Marathon group was meeting at the Capital Crescent Trail at 7am and I was toying on the idea of joining them. A) I don't "know" any of them. B) The ones that invited me were "maybes" for showing up. C) I am *actually* shy is large group settings, especially when it comes to running!

As I was prepping that night before, it turns out my iPod Touch screen was NOT responding (remember that giveaway where I gave away my "extra" one a year ago... yeah), even after trying all of the suggestions on-line (FAIL #1). I quickly scrabbled to find Kiera's iPod Nano (my old one), remove any trace of Hannah Montana, Justin Beiber, and Miranda Cosgrove, and went to bed as it was charging/syncing...

I had a hard time falling asleep (long story) and woke up at 3:30 am to my lovely new "puppy," Gabbana barking; I decided to start getting ready to head out. Since I was about 2 hours early to meet the XP group, I decided I would just run by myself.

I arrived at CCT by 5am... dark... very dark. There were a couple of runner-type dudes chatting near their trucks as I pulled in. You KNOW the ones... hard core, no gadgets, no water belts. I decided to quickly hop on the trail "just" behind them... you know, in case someone jumped out at me, these dudes would hear my screams... and that's when I realized despite charging all night long, Kiera's iPod only had "20%" battery left.... what? (Fail #2).

I kept the hard core dudes in my sight (they wore head lamps... I did not)... and realized that I was going waaaaaay too fast. Average for first 10 miles was 8:13 (what?). It was either my attempt to stay "just behind" the dudes or it was my fear of the dark. The sun came up around mile 7, just in time for the tears to start.

Tears: not because I was in pain, but just thoughts that I couldn't turn off. I was embarrassed and thought for sure that those who passed me could see... maybe they thought sweat.... yeah. At one point I had so much gunk coming out of my nose (you know when you cry so hard) that I had to step off the trail and... dispose of it in a non-lady like snot-rocket! Lonely runs are the best/worst when you cannot turn your brain off.

I consciously tried to slow down. 20 miles at 8:13 was NOT going to happen. Miles 10-15 were about 9:30 average. The bad thing about the CCT is that the trail has a net down hill running towards DC, but turning around to Bethesda... is all uphill... slightly... but by mile 12 you are totally feeling it.

And for some reason, by mile 15, I KNEW that I was going to make it. Tears were gone (or dried up) and I was cruising. I started saying hi to everyone... got a couple of "cute skirt" comments. I was feeling awesome. My pace was under 8:30, except for mile 17 (8:45). I felt successful.

It was mile 19 that I realized I had not calculated my run appropriately. I was at least 2 miles from my car. UGH. Just what I want... to run an extra mile. I had decided that I would stop at 20 and just walk in. By now the trail was crowded and I was TOO proud to walk it in... I kept running.

21:09 miles = 3:10:54

I was feeling like a SUPERSTAR! It was a great run. I am thankful that this week is a low mileage week... this chica is tired.

My hips ached later and a few flight of stairs sent me into heavy breathing. Funny story... actually... another time!

Moving on

2011-09-19T13:44:00.001-04:00

I have decided to move on. From? Well, from ALL of the things... holding me back from my potential.

Recently, I had a conversation with a coach about my half marathon that is approaching. She took my times from Cherry Blossom 10-miler and National Half Marathon, and told me that I could easily aim for 1:45. This would be a HUGE PR. (Remember, the National Half Marathon was the only half I have run... and I ran it the stomach flu and walked most of it... total time: 2:24).

I immediately gave her all of the reasons I could NOT maintain an 8:00 pace for 13 miles. And she sent me this advice:

"First, to warm up, run a very easy 15 min w/u, 10 minutes of easy stretching and then 2 x 30 sec strides starting about 35-45 minutes before the race.

Focus on running a patient and conservative race over the first 3 miles, relaxing during the middle, and then attacking the course for the last 2 miles. Do NOT get sucked into a too fast pace. Instead, run 5-10 seconds SLOWER than your projected half-marathon pace until mile 3.

At 3 miles, begin to increase your pace and effort into your half marathon pace (5-10 seconds faster than miles 1-3). Be aware that you need to increase your effort to maintain the same pace or run faster as the race goes on. As you get more tired, it gets more difficult to keep running faster, so just remind yourself to try harder to stay in the right pace zone. Personally,I find it helpful to engage the runners around me. In other words, I find a group that is running my pace or a little faster and latch on. So, between miles 3 and 10, try to relax and keep your focus on staying with the group, while checking your splits. Use the group and the people around you to help you relax and take your mind of the distance ahead, and, if it's windy, use the taller people to draft.

After 5 miles the pace is going to start getting hard. Keep your mind and body relaxed. Think confident thoughts and repeat a mantra to yourself such as, “I am strong”. Every time you feel tired or feel the pace slip, repeat to yourself that you need to refocus and concentrate and get back on pace.

After 10 miles, with 2 miles to go, keep your head up and start to try and catch people in front of you. Pick one person and focus solely on reeling them in, nothing else. As you pass them, surge and put your eyes on the next person and repeat.

At mile 12, kick hard and finish fast."

So, as I prep for the Baltimore Half Marathon on October 15th, I will be keeping my eye on the prize. Not necessarily aiming for a 1:45, but I AM aiming to move on... past my immediate negative thoughts, to train, and do my best. I will be running this race for me; to examine my potential. To see how and where I can improve. It is not exactly the flattest course:

But since I train on hills regularly, I'm NOT worried.

Attitudes

2011-09-18T08:06:00.000-04:00

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

I recently came across the quote above and fell in love. Yes. It was perfect. It completely described who I am.... most of the time.

Since my weight loss and my increased speed/endurance, I have a new found confidence. I have to admit it makes me feel high. VERY high. I smile from ear to ear, most days. I talk every one's ear off (okay, I think I did this before too, but it was more obnoxious). 95% of my conversations have something to do with training/running/triathlons/races or Kiera/Brock. And for those around me who are interested in those topics are typically just as excited to be in conversation with me. The athletes are sharing stories, training woes, or discussing our next race strategy. Those around me who are not interested in those two topics still find me obnoxious.

People who haven't seen me in a while (which was pretty cool the first week back to school) take double takes and then go into this spiel about how good I look. I cannot lie; I do *enjoy* basking in this. One parent said, "Wow, Jen. You look great. You were so fat before... but now... WOW!" No, English was not their first language so culturally this was okay for her to say... but it was the truth. For the record, my highest weight on the scale was 211. And it was 3 years after the birth of my last son. I had no excuses. "I finally feel like the person on the outside, who I have always been on the inside," are typically my parting words in these conversations.

I was given an AMAZING gift to participate in the Healthy Challenge (like biggest loser, but on the local county level). But to tell you the truth that was only 25% of it - and yes... an AWESOME 25%. I had to change my attitude. If I always looked at the glass half empty, then it would always look half empty.

I believe it is about attitude. Those weeks during the competition, when I wasn't seeing the results, my fear of gaining weight was so bad... that I ended up not performing. It took my twin sister to set me straight... and do you know what? The next week I came back like a champion (remember, I won by only .06% over the guy, still the only woman to win in 7 yrs). Same thing goes for races, ask TG. For those races that I have negative thoughts about during the race, I tend to psych myself out and fail. Our most recent race together, TG literally removed my Garmin from my wrist while we were running because I was getting so disappointed by my pace that I was defeating myself mentally. Guess what, when I couldn't see my pace, I actually listened more to my body and finished strong.

We need to train our minds as much as we are training our bodies... and the book that I am just about finished may argue that we should be training our minds even more (review coming soon). And as I am learning to look at the positives, what tricks do you have to offer me/others?

Umm... reset?

2011-09-17T12:57:00.000-04:00

Today was a down week for my long run. After my 22.65 mile run with Bob (I know... still haven't finished writing it), I only had 10 today.

I set off after the sun came up because it was COLD! Cold is relative... it was 51 degrees... but my little skirt and knee high socks were not doing their thing. I didn't even shed my long sleeve top until mile 10 (or so I thought) and as soon as I did, I was cold again. Anyway, I was plugging along, listening to music and I felt tired. Average pace was little over 9 minute mile. I wasn't paying attention to my Garmin until I shed my top and it said 10 miles.

History: This week I have been swamped doing stuff for the PTA (remember, I wanted this presidency?). I have been averaging about 3-4 hours of sleep each night mainly because I could NOT turn my brain off. I enjoy thinking, but would rather not be reading printing contracts and ad contracts in my head... wondering which way I should go for the School Directory. My body has felt fatigued because I haven't been getting much sleep and because I am at the point in my MTP where the miles are high.

Okay, back to the story. I head home, come inside... chat with my kids. Garmin read 11.8 miles. I felt good, tired, but good. As I headed upstairs to shower, the clock read 7:55. WHAT? It should have read 8:55. What? And that is when I realized I had not reset my Garmin from my 5 mile run.... and I only ran 6.8. CRAZY.

I felt stupid. I couldn't believe that I was so tired, or so in the zone... that I "thought" I had ran for an hour, 40 minutes... when it was only an hour. CRAZY!

So since I am a runner first, and a logical thinker second - I said goodbye to the family and headed out for 5 more miles. After kicking myself and wondering how on earth I could have thought I was running for 40 minutes longer than I was (I mean, CRAZY, right?) I actually enjoyed it.

I averaged 8:45 for the last 5 miles... and rather kinda enjoyed the 10 minute rest in between. I am calling it Transition 1 (T1). It doesn't bode well in Triathlons to have a long T1, but for today's long run it did.

Please... someone out there... tell me this has happened to you before... Anyone? (Bueller? Bueller?)

I think I will go to bed early tonight (maybe with the help of a little meds) and REST tomorrow!

Friday's Fret, Fact, and Fun

2011-09-16T06:43:00.000-04:00

Fret - I am down to 7 toenails. Yes.... Lost the 3rd one Monday night. I am still 2 months out of Richmond. Not sure how this will bode for the remaining 7. I am thankful the weather is cooler so I can bring out my boots... the kids are making fun of me! I need to figure out why. I have been getting blisters on the tips of my toes each long run over 16. These are also the ONLY runs I have been wearing Runningskirts.com compression socks. Coincidence? My shoes are 8.5 and I wear 6.5 in regular shoes. And let me repeat... NO issues on runs shorter than 16. Hmmmm.

Fact - My body is tired. Very tired. Lack of sleep (unable to turn my brain off) and early morning runs (before hubby leaves for work) has left me fatigued. This week, the MTP called for: 4, 9, 4, 9, X, 10, Rest. I ran 22.65 with Bob last Saturday (oh, don't worry... working on that blog post now)... so I decided to change my plan a little. I ran 7 instead of a 9 and I may skip X tomorrow. I am pleased that I only have 10 on Saturday, but the temps will be perfect... (hold me back).

Fun - I worked with a RRCA coach to start a running club at our elementary school. We originally wanted to limit the club to 25 students; 2nd-5th grade to train them for a local kids race - Halloween Fun Run which is 1 mile. We were overwhelmed with the response. We had over 75 applicants and were forced to institute a lottery system. We decided to break it up into two groups 2nd & 3rd graders and 4th & 5th graders and this way would allow 50 students to participate. The 2nd and 3rd graders were fun... loud and excited. When we paced them at a 1/4 of a mile, they were averaging 7:15 pace... we hope to drop that down so they can finish the entire mile without walk... we have 5 weeks. The 4th and 5th graders are today... and I cannot wait. Most of the lesson is games and the kids do not even know they are running. It is exciting to motivate kids and to share my passion of running.

"The waiting is the hardest part..."

2011-09-15T06:55:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I feel like I am alive. I feel like I am LIVING. Like during an awesome run... cool temps, perfect pace, breathing hard but controlled... legs feeling strong, posture effortless, miles flying by... not wanting it to end.

Like playing with Kiera and Brock, snuggling, LOVING! No fighting, no whining, just happiness and lots and lots of laughter.

More often, I find myself, WAITING. Waiting for the sun. Waiting for the right time. Waiting for the right person. Waiting for the water to boil, the rain to stop. Waiting for the bus to arrive. Waiting for the alarm to go off. Waiting for the my shoes to dry, the dryer to stop. Waiting for that phone call, text... the important one. Waiting for the satellite. Waiting for the next day, the next workout, the next race. Waiting for the next challenge.

Are you?

We NEED to stop waiting. We need to go. Get up, let nothing stand in our way (okay, gently move your children aside) and GO! Stop waiting and SEIZE the opportunity.

I have stopped waiting and made a decision. I HAVE registered... for a big one. I am excited, nervous... READY, no more waiting... and more importantly ready to LIVE (or die trying!)

What are you waiting for?

Wordless Wednesday - GROSS

2011-09-14T10:32:00.000-04:00

Gabbi is a kisser and even my toenail-less toes deserves kisses, right?

Almost Deleted

2011-09-13T19:23:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have been missing in action. Some of it was due to being an extremely busy PTA President (remember when I was boasting about wanting this job and volunteering for it? Yeah.... not so much now!) but some of it had to do with me feeling that I had to edit myself. You understand? Not be true to ME!

And on Sunday, for 1 hour, this blog was gone. Not gone as in deleted (almost though), but gone as in made private... invite only... and the only person I had invited was myself (testing it).

And within this hour I got 1 text and 3 emails from followers... wondering why they couldn't find my blog or needed to be invited. I mean, I have barely published a post in like a week, who would really notice that I was gone. Seriously, folks... I have been averaging many hits a day (when I actually post something new), but comments... seriously lacking. Like averaging like 2 - BOO!

But those 4 people made me realize... I am read. I was missed. And then I had a change of heart (obviously, right... you can see me know). Why do I even write this blog? For others? For me?

Sure, I hope I motivate you, make you laugh, cry... even gross you out sometimes (wait for the I'm only down to 7 toe nails post). More importantly, this blog helps hold me accountable to my training, to my weight loss, and to the idea that I can do anything that I put my heart into.

And for the haters out there... YES, I have haters (I know, strange, right? Who wouldn't love me): If you are tired of reading about my daily runs, then don't read my blog. If you don't like my opinion or what I have to say, then kindly (I know your momma taught you manners) tell me your opinion.

The blog community helped me TREMENDOUSLY with my weight loss (down 98lbs now). I cannot thank you enough for your encouragement and support... and now as I attempt even greater feats (IM anyone?) I have decided, no more filters, I am going to be ME.

I hope you stick around, if not... Ba bye!

Introducing: Gabbana - a.k.a Gabbi

How can you NOT want to stick around for her adventures with Dolce?

D & G, after a romp around the yard.

18+ mile solo run & Aug Rewind

2011-09-05T19:21:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, I set out again to run my longest run ever solo. Remember, last year I had my steadfast running partner Bob and I never ran more than 12 without him. With his move to Lynchburg, VA and TG's upcoming Half IM, I was stuck.

I set out early... too early in fact. The first 7 miles were done while it was still dark. Most were on a paved path, and the few parts that were not, I knocked the pace back and was careful. The really eerie thing about running in the dark is that critters are everywhere and my LED light on the hat, really magnifies their eyes. I would clap loudly as I saw one in my path and decided if they did not move, I would turn around. THANKFULLY, they all scatter at the sound of my claps. I came across deer, raccoons, rabbits, squirrels, and even a cat (couldn't tell if it was black or not).

I have been reading a book about training my mind as much as training my body, so I decided to take a hint and break the 18 mile run up into 6 mile increments and to only focus on those 6 miles. The first 6 were the scariest since it was pitch black. I did not come across any other runners out there. I felt strong, but my average pace was between 9:15 and 9:30, with mile 2 at 9:47 because this is where some of the path was not paved and I could not see where I was placing my feet. I did not want to twist my ankle, in the dark, on mile 2, so I took it easy.

The second 6 got a little easier. I started to see more runners, enjoy the scenery since the sun had risen, and I felt strong. I decided to turn around at mile 10 and take a slightly different route home.

Turning around REALLY boosted my spirits, I felt like I really could do this. At mile 11, I put my iPod in and started to jam. While jamming I noticed that my breathing was heavier and looked at my Garmin to see an 8:15 pace at mile 13... WHAT? I felt good, but decided to back down. I was AMAZED at how the tunes really helped my cadence and I was nearing the end. At mile 16, I had to go up a long stretch that was about a 1/2 mile straight up a hill. Usually, I can barely maintain a 9:30 pace up this hill and most recently, walked most of it. I averaged 8:47 up the hill on Saturday. I have NO IDEA how, but I just was excited. Having only 2 miles left, I decided I would try to maintain my pace and watch my form.

I am not going to lie and say the last 6 were easy. They were tough. But the confidence of averaging a 8:30 pace for the last 5 was really pumping me up. Mile 17 flew by and as I was heading home, I started to tear up. I was so doubtful that I was going to be able to run 18 miles by myself. And obviously, I was cruising. I ran and even picked it up on the last 1/4 of a mile (typically where TG challenges me to pick it up). All in all 18.14 miles in 2:47. Last week I did 16 in 2:31. NOT BAD!

This Saturday, I am running 22 miles with my steadfast partner, Bob! That's right - Bob is coming into town. And while I am running 22, TG and at least 3 other DCTRI MoCo members will be competing in Patriots Half IM in Williamsburg. I am uber jealous and so want to be there supporting them. But running with Bob after a 4 month hiatus will be just as EPIC!

Here are my stats for August:

Running: 154 (up from 81 in July)
Cycling: 15 (down from 64 in July)
Swimming: 3 (same as July)
Walking: 4 (down from 5 in July)

Total Mileage for August: 176 (up from 153 last month)
Total Mileage so far for 2011: 1645 miles

How was your long run?

Perspectives

2011-08-31T07:45:00.000-04:00

Several DCTRI peeps competed in the Louisville IM this past Sunday. I stalked them on line all day (yeah, it takes all day to complete one of those things). At one point, one of the guys did not have times recording for him and his T2 time was almost an hour. I started to worry. Was he okay? Did he get hurt? Up to that point, he was ROCKING. I mean seriously like a 1:24 on the swim, and his cycle speeds were awesome.

We all waited to hear what happened and he posted a very serene reply: "While sad to report that I DNF, J and A are ironmen in every sense. I'll leave it to them to give their own race reports. Suffice it to say, they both gutted out a tough course and deserve congratulations."

It got me thinking, even though D did not finish, he was so strong. Certainly qualifies as a IM in my book. All that training that goes in, the heartbreak not to finish - WOW! Gives me an even greater perspective about training and racing.

Whether you are training for your first 5k or racing your 10th marathon, we need to realize that each step we take is on unsteady ground. The tiniest pebble in our path can cause major issues. We are not guaranteed to land that stride pain free.The reason we have training plans to follow is so we can convince our bodies to do what our minds have already determined to do. None of us choose to DNF... most of the time, its our bodies that don't cooperate.

I stepped wrong on mile 5 of my 8 mile run yesterday... on Milles. There wasn't a pebble and I didn't trip, I just stepped wrong. Typically, if I keep going, the pain subsides, and it did. But after 2 hours in my (zebra print) 3 1/2 heels, it started to hurt again. Yeah, bad decision to wear the heels but my point is, during today's 4 mile run, it still was sore.

I took it slow... I think it was a 9:45 pace. Slow for 4 miles. It doesn't hurt now. I'm thankful. I have 8 tomorrow and 18 on Saturday. I'm nervous. Those 18 miles will be all alone, like my 16 were 2 weeks ago. I plan to listen to my body, not give up and push my body to do things that my brain tells me it can!

As for all of those DNFers out there... to me, starting the race, getting to the start line is what determines how successful you are. Stand up, wipe off the debris that caught you on the way down, and start again!

How have you bounced back from a DNF?

Me, Myself & Irene

2011-08-27T21:16:00.000-04:00

With Irene practically shutting the city down, I decided to get my run in early this morning. I woke up at 3:40, and by 4:45, I was out the door. My Garmin even had a hard time finding a satellite.

Today I only had ten since I was scheduled to run the Annapolis 10-miler (which got cancelled by the Annapolis City Emergency Management). I started off nice and slow to give my legs a nice warm up.

Confession: I missed two 8 milers and a 4 miler this week, but added a 6 miler on my Cross Day.

It was dark. And the sky looked sort of scary with all of the clouds. I started off in the hood and once I warmed up (did I mention I didn't run 3 days in a row). I decided to start pushing a little. Mile 4-7was under 8:30.

Off and on Irene offered nice breezes that were nice and refreshing misty rain, which I normally HATE. In between the wind and mist, it was hot... humid and STICKY! My legs felt strong and I kept pushing it.

It was nice to finish in 1:27. Not a 10 mile PR, but probably a lot better than I would have done at the race tomorrow... it was kinda hilly.

And honestly, I feel like I am getting used to running solo again. I mean, a few weeks ago, I dreaded going on long runs alone. I am still not in love with the idea, but I felt good. Not overly tired or that I pushed myself too much (maybe I needed to run faster). I still prefer to run with company... I miss conversations, but it is my situations right now.

Has Irene affected your running schedule? I plan on running 10 miles tomorrow too. It will probably be on Milles though because it will be raining... but I will try to get out if I can.

Rain, Shine, or Irene?

2011-08-25T08:25:00.000-04:00

I know, I have been absent.

Life. It gets in the way sometimes.

So I survived my 16 miler... and I did not even use my iPod. I am not going to lie, it was tough... but if you were following me on Facebook, then you know... it was pretty G.B.A. - yeah, even G told me it was.

And if you follow my plan, I was *only* supposed to run 10 miles last Saturday. I ran my 16 a week early, because I had signed up for the Annapolis 10-miler. I was excited because although I already have an awesome 10 mile PR, I wanted the challenge of this course. I mean look at the elevation:

Not exactly the flat course of the Cherry Blossom 10-miler.

But now with this little thing call Hurricane Irene approaching, inquiring minds want to know whether the race will be cancelled or not. And on Monday, they sent all registrants an email that said the race will go on: Rain, Shine or Irene!

What? Really? I mean, I haven't trained properly for a race in heavy rain and 100 mph winds... have you? How will it affect my speed? I wonder if we will be running against the wind. Twice we run over a bridge... if it is side winds... some of those skinny ladies, might be blown right over... does that mean they forfeit? Hmmm.

So I have a decision to make. They won't call the race until last minute because we have no idea where crazy Irene is going... we can predict... but since we aren't God, we don't really know. And even though I have a direct line to the big guy, He hasn't shared His plan with me regarding the storm.

And the likelihood that they call the race Sunday morning, I will still need to get my long run in.... oh, Milles... 10 miles on you seems... horrific.

So what would you do? Run 10 on Saturday (still could be raining and strong winds) and run 10 again on Sunday if they have the race? Wait it out?

And because you ALL know that we run for the swag (lol)... this race gives the swag - as a finisher's premium:

Oh... I *really* want it. No race, no swag? What will they do with all of those 1/2 zip thermal tops?

How are you avoiding Irene?

Friday's Fret, Fact, and Fun

2011-08-19T07:52:00.000-04:00

Fret - 16 miles tomorrow...all alone. Yep, I am still freaking out about it. The strange thing is that I will be doing so many more longer runs alone too, so why is 16 freaking me out? I thought about splitting the run into 2 parts: 8, then stop by the house: refill water/gatorade and use the bathroom and head out again. But then I thought, what if after 8, I won't want to go back out. So I am trying to come up with another plan. Maybe a new path would motivate me....

Fact- My dog, Dolce, the Wonder Dog, has more play dates than my kids. My neighbor has a Sheltie, named Billy... who is often full of himself. Without two kids to chase Billy around (like Dolce has), Billy is energetic and ready to play - ALL THE TIME! I like having Dolce play with Billy because she is exhausted when she comes home - and poor Billy has barely broken a sweat. They seem to be great pals... which makes for an interesting combination.

photo courtesy of Billy's daddy.

Fun- Next week is the last week before school starts here. I decided to make this week, for kids, about them. Zoo, County Fair, ~~Waterpark~~ Chuck E. Cheese (due to T-storms), and today is a day with Grandma. A friend commented on Facebook that I must be a cool mom... and I thought, yeah, it is easier to be a cool mom when I don't work full-time. My kids *have* had a great time. And are excited each day to find out what is in store - I never tell them ahead of time in case plans change, like T-storms preventing waterpark fun. I am pretty sure I will miss them when they go back to school.

70 foot drop. Brock wanted to go again... Kiera hugged me for a while.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-17T07:21:00.000-04:00

Don't be a captive. Get out!

Rest Day Blues

2011-08-16T19:05:00.003-04:00

We ALL have to rest especially when we are in the midst of training for a big event (like my marathon in November). Running "experts" stress the need to take rest days to give our bodies time to recover, especially after hard workouts.

Rest days and I just don't get along. I play fair. I totally rest... like try not to do anything. I have made my rest days on Sunday because of this (despite most races being on Sundays). Give the day to the Lord... and relax, rest, and spend time with the family.

But lately, my rest days have been AWFUL! Like seriously, depressed. The past two Sundays in particular. I have been thinking (and now tracking) to see if it is solely due to "resting". It seems strange to go from being able to conquer the world (running 14.2 miles solo) to being so down-and-out. My husband will even remark: "Did you run today?" when I am having a "sad" day. (I actually was thinking it may be a hormonal thing and still have not completely ruled it out).

I have been researching options too. Some "experts" say that if you MUST run, to make it very easy and light mileage (although the preference is no running at all). Some suggest doing other forms of workouts like swimming or biking, but for me it doesn't help. This past Sunday, I even did P90X and still felt down and out. And I am talking "stay in bed all day" kind of down and out. Like the Humane Society of US commercial had me in tears... bawling (seriously that songs hits hard)!

What gives? Am I the only crazy person that gets all blue on my rest days? Talk to me people!

Lonely 14 miler

2011-08-15T18:10:00.000-04:00

Ocean City, MD 2011

We returned from vacation on Friday... we were actually home by 11:30am. The kids and I turned the day into a relax by the pool and catch up with friends kind of day.

Friday was my day to choose what we did and I wanted to go to the outlets on the way home.

(Brock chose Lewes, DE - to swim in the DE Bay, Lyle chose Cape May, NJ - to ride ferry, shuttle, trolley, shuttle, ferry... *yeah*, and Kiera chose Ocean City, MD - beach day and boardwalk fun)

Well, outlets never happened (I think Lyle missed the turn on purpose) so we made good time. (Don't worry... with it being tax-free shopping in MD this week... I have already made up for good deals that I may have found at the outlets.)

Saturday arrived and I was up and ready to run before the sun... until Lyle asked me not to run in the dark alone. Bummer. I had to wait over 2 hours to see the sun inching up before starting... I could have been done already. But I understand his safety concerns. And it made me realize how much I took Bob for granted last year. I never ran anything over 10 miles without him during marathon training not to mention ice cold watermelon wedges!

I decided to *try* not to look at my pace to just run. And just like last week, 1/2 way through I wanted to be done. I put my headphones in and Katy Perry helped me make it to 14... 14.2 actually in 2:11. The problem with Katy is that she doesn't talk back and repeats herself... a lot (I only have 5 of her songs).

I really struggled with being out there all by myself mentally. Sure the last couple of runs with TG, I failed; but at least I had his company for several miles. Running 14.2 miles alone... makes me wonder how in the world am I going to get to 16 this Saturday?

All of those who are unfortunate like me... (and not fortunate to have a posse to run with), how do you do it?

Wordless Wednesday - Relaxation

2011-08-10T05:28:00.000-04:00

Now this is a vacation!

After the 2 mile OWS and you CAN do it

2011-08-09T07:39:00.001-04:00

Ouch. My muscles are tight. Muscles that I did not know that I had. In strange places, where I never imagined I used those muscles during swimming. I am walking funny. I can barely hold anything of substance due to fatigue in my arms.... maybe I should have trained for that swim.

Today we started our vacation. We are staying in DE (near the outlets - yay!) and ventured to several places. A short stint on the beach (hottest part of the day), a walk through the town of Dewey, a visit to a state part in Lewes, where we stopped and climbed a gunner tower from WWII. It wasn't very high and normally, would have been cake, but today.... I got winded. My hamstrings hurt. I couldn't hold onto the railing because my arms hurt. The kids raced up and by the time I made it, they were ready to come down (which really isn't saying much, they are 6.5 and 8, not that thrilled by the "view"). And as I caught my breath, Brock yelled: "Last one down is a rotten egg!!"

Of course, I raced them down... and wow, my quads decided to say hello. I let them win, by the way.

We ended with some pool time and a nice dinner at our friend's house.

More important, I have had several people comment and send me FB messages that they are "amazed" that I swam 2 miles, that they could "never" swim 2 miles in OW.

I am here to tell you, if I can do it, so can you. I had NEVER swam that far before... even in a pool. I believe my longest swim to date was 2700m in a pool and that was about 2 months ago (believe me I am NOT advocating lack of training). And I had surgery that forced me out of water for 10 days prior.

My point in all of this is, I hesitated about my ability. I thought about the possibilities. What if I drown? What if there really were sharks? What if I couldn't make it?

Don't doubt yourself. The way I got through the swim was one stroke at a time. Yes, I was nervous while out there. Yes, I thought, I may not make it. But I was determined to make it. What an accomplishment to say that I swam 2 miles in OW. That was the thought that I repeated over and over in my head... "How cool is this? Swimming 2 miles in the Chesapeake Bay!"

I am not super human or extra brave. I even had the opportunity to drop down to the 1 mile swim but I didn't. If we don't push ourselves, we will NEVER know what we can do. A year ago, I never thought I would finish the marathon. Several months ago, I was scared to death of my first Olympic Tri.

We all push ourselves... but sometimes, we don't push ourselves far enough. Think of something that seems completely unattainable. (For me, right now, it is an Ironman.) Now, instead of listing all of the reason it could never happen, think of how it could happen! If we just refocus our attention on the possibilities... instead of the obstacles, we just may be able to conquer the things that are holding us back.

Try it... if all else fails, at least we can say, "I tried!" Right?

2 mile Open Water Swim

2011-08-08T05:52:00.002-04:00

The 2 mile Open Water Swim with PurpleSwim Baltimore was yesterday. There were three options for the race: 1 mile swim, 2 mile swim, or do both for a 3 mile swim. I think 27 people did both!

Strangely, the 1 milers went first. After they finished, they changed the buoys and then the 2 miler began. (BTW: a chick won the 1 miler in 23:17... and then placed 3rd in the 2 miler... talk about sweetness! Go girl!!)

My friend, E, organized the DCTRI group to swim this event because she is a survivor of Pancreatic Cancer. The group had 4 swimming the 1 miler, 7 swimming the 2 miler and 1 guy swam both. We were very supportive and took lots of pics.

When E finished the 1 miler, she said that it was really hard to sight because the kayakers were in way of the buoys. This made me very nervous, but she said the water was a perfect temperature, so I decided to just view this as a 2 hour workout... I mean, I should be done in 2 hours, right?

It was time and we entered the water. It felt cool, but as I started to swim, it was refreshing. It was quite shallow and you could actually walk all the way out to the first buoy. I did not. The other thing was close to the shore was tons of "seaweed" - yuck!

After go, my nerves set in. I did have a hard time catching my breath, but sure enough by 200 m, I was relaxed and settled in for a long swim. I couldn't settle enough to breathe every 3rd stroke so I just concentrated on counting every 10 strokes then sighted. I did a really good job with stay on course. Lots of swimmers did not... at all.

The buoys were marked by numbers. We swam out passing, ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, turned at FIVE and passed another FOUR, THREE, TWO and One - which is when we were heading back to shore. Buoys ONE, TWO, and THREE were waaaaay closer together than FOUR and FIVE... and it seemed like it took forever to get to FIVE which was the one mile mark. Finally I made it... time: 35:12 according to my Garmin (pooey - I was hoping for 30 minutes).

Once we made the turn, we were swimming against the current and it was bad. Sometimes it felt like I was standing still. I looked behind me and could not see any white caps and felt for an instant that I was dead last. But the waves were higher and it made it harder to sight. I just decided to keep moving forward. I swallowed a LOT of the Chesapeake Bay on this part. Actually, I did not swallow any on the first mile. Again buoys FOUR and THREE were so spread out, this took forever. It was lonely out there too. Not like running, no one to talk too. I kept swimming... but my arms were starting to get tired. I decided to do the breast stroke for awhile and freaked the kayaker out. Each time I went under water, he got closer and closer. Finally, when I swallowed a LOT of water and gagged, he asked me if I was okay... "Sure!" I shouted. I still have 1/2 mile left.

The monotony of swimming gets tiring. I was able to finally breathe every 3rd stroke, but I was quickly becoming bored. TG had complained that he got bored swimming, but today was the first time ever! As I approached buoy ONE (apparently, I had missed passing TWO), I was excited... I was almost done. I picked it up... thought, maybe I was just over an hour. Yeah... I was waaaay off.

Total time: 1:29:07

I cannot believe it took me almost an hour to swim the 2nd mile.... ouch! I told you it was tough and it wasn't just because of fatigue... swimming against the current was no joke.

I wasn't last, but was definitely in the bottom 1/4th of swimmers. It was the furthest I have ever swam. I survived. I celebrated by eating a nice hamburger. It was a well run event (minus small buoys) and supported a great cause. Maybe the 3 miler will call me next year.... yeah, about that!

And on today's MTP, it was 3 miles... boy was that tough. My muscles were so sore... all over. I knocked it out though, 27:54, on Milles. Hopefully by tomorrow's 7 miler, my muscles won't be so tight!

Friday's Fret, Fact, and Fun

2011-08-05T06:23:00.001-04:00

Fret - I wanted to support my fellow DCTRI MoCo Club member, Elaine, a survivor, by joining her in a 2 mile OWS called: PurpleSwim Baltimore which is raising money to help fight Pancreatic Cancer. I signed up right after Philly when I was beaming after my 1 mile swim there! Well, August 7th is THIS Sunday... and yeah, I will be swimming 2 miles in OPEN WATER. I am nervous, but since it isn't a race, I want to treat it as just practice and to see if I have what it takes to do a HIM. Just might not have been the best plan to have surgery and stitches to prevent me from swimming for 10 days.

Fact -I must admit that I am a procrastinator. Big one. HUGE! And honestly, I do my best work when I wait till the last minute. My job, lately, has been busy... just because I have waited until now to start. It doesn't matter that I was prepared to start in June... and now that it is August, I got around to it. I have always been able to accomplish the same amount of work in an arguably better quality than anyone else assigned the task. When I left my last government job (can't tell you or I would have to kill you), they hired 3 people to replace me. Yeah, I *was* that efficient. The thing I wasn't counting on was being swamped with PTA stuff too. Yup, I volunteered to be President this year. And um... it is all catching up to me. (And this has been what has consumed my thoughts during my runs)!

Fun - Richmond Marathon is only 99 days away. I am sooooo excited. Really! I get to meet great blogger friends... some for the first time (ready to pee my pants). I get to be there and run with Bob when he completes his FIRST marathon (I just know I will cry). And I am looking forward to logging more and more miles (remind me when I start to complain about it) and bringing my body back to a runner - its been toying with cyclist (think hams) and swimmer (think shoulders) for the last couple of months... the runner physique is dying to emerge again. A couple 15+ runs under my belt and I will be there! (TMI: And honestly none of these types do anything for my girls up top... what gives? In my case... nothing, they are shrinking violets!)

Thankful Thursday

2011-08-04T05:47:00.001-04:00

After re-reading my Tuesday Truths post, I realized I needed to bring back my Thankful Thursday this week. So without further delay, I am thankful for:

1. My men: This picture was from my birthday dinner. Brock wore is pink shirt for the second time (first time kids at school made fun of him) because: "I know how much you like this outfit, mommy!" Super sweet boy. He gives the best hugs and kisses and his laugh is contagious.

Lyle - a husband who truly does love me unconditionally. He "allows" me to train and race all of the time. Actually has only said "no" to one thing I wanted to do which was a century on my birthday. He is generous and quiet and witty.

2. Kiera - Where to begin with my baby? I never go without hugs and kisses when she is around. She loves to cling to me and talk my ear off about virtually.... ANYTHING! She is a great artist and enjoys playing the piano. Great second mother to Brock and a great friend. She can look through you and see the good in people and is always willing to help someone in need.

3. Twin Sister - best of friends, worst enemies.... seriously my sister, Janet is always there when I need an ear. She doesn't always agree with me... actually rarely does, but our unique history as twins makes her my go-to person for an ear. Sometimes, we call each other up, just to vent, just to make sure we aren't completely insane. I love her and I am super excited to announce that she has been getting back into running too! I see a race in our future together... and more than likely, just like high school, she will kick me butt!

4. Friends. Old ones.... new ones.... REAL friends stick by you. Real friends appreciate you. Real friends allow you to be completely obsessed and love you just the same. I am blessed to finally have some real friends in my life. Many of those who I consider real friends are you followers out there who leave such encouraging comments to me. I hope to make you more real by meeting you someday!

5. Training partners - sometimes you don't realize what you have until it is gone. It is strange to find someone to be with you when you are at your stinkiest, rawest, down right... beaten up. Partners who really get you, who understand why you do this to yourself. Partners that are there for you no matter what! Who hug your sweaty, stinky body when you PR. Who hold you when you fail and cry with you. Those of you who still have partners, don't take them for granted. Cherish the time you have together. We never know where life takes us... hopefully all to the finish line!

What are you thankful for today?

Wordless Wednesday - Determination (Retro-style)

2011-08-03T17:11:00.001-04:00

MCM - just steps away from the finish line!

Tuesday Truths

2011-08-02T13:14:00.000-04:00

1. I have stopped having dailymile post my workouts to Facebook. I think I liked it because I was bragging about my awesomeness... but that is exactly why I have decided not to post them there any more. In all seriousness, it held me accountable... but also exposed a little too much of myself. I almost deleted my FB account... I know ! So if we aren't friends on dailymile and you are interested in seeing me brag there, friend me: hahleewude

2. I do NOT enjoy running by myself. This morning, I ran 4 outside and the last 2 inside because I was up too late and did not wake up in time to do the whole workout before my husband left. No, I am not lazy! I was outside running by 4:30am, but hubby leaves at 5am, so I had to be back. It was easier to run outside than on Milles, but my mirror rather enjoyed my strip show. The BEST part about running inside is that I can run in virtually anything... or in this case, practically nothing!

3. I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and she mentioned that she still had a "fat" picture of me as my contact picture in her phone. It alarmed and intrigued me. She said that she liked that she knew me "then" but my whole reaction... was, "why did you like me better then?" And honestly, her answer didn't surprised me. Her round-about-protect-my-feelings answer was YES! Apparently, my weight loss has increased my confidence (or in her eyes: obnoxious workout all the time attitude) and she missed the old me. WOW! I was hoping I was encouraging her to get healthy.... but apparently I have been jamming it down her throat!

4. We have not been having the best summer in the Green household. Kiera has been incredibly "leechy" since school has been out. Did I mention she is 8. Then topped with her "stomach aches" at convenient times and her inability for me to leave her without hysterics has left me begging for time alone. Brock has been having what he calls "visions" so his eye appointment is this afternoon and has been refusing to go to bed... or to have one of us sleep with him. Yeah, he is 6.5 years old. So, my husband decided: NO VACATION for us! He believes it just isn't worth us being away from home to be miserable, plus we were staying with "older" friends who haven't had kids living with them for 20+ years... not the best idea. I think we are going to try to do day trips... which can be fun, but still mean I have to do laundry and cook! BOOO!

5. Not only am I obsessed with my training, I am obsessed with cleaning, organizing... de-cluttering. I cannot stand CLUTTER! I am not saying you can eat off the toilet seats on anything (well, right now you can because I scrubbed the bathrooms this morning and they haven't been used since), but clutter, messes really drive me crazy. And my kids (and husband) like to just "drop" things where ever they are. I am constantly tossing (perhaps gently ;-) ) their stuff to them to get it off of my counters, tables, stairs. Why can't people (my family) simply put things where they belong? Oh and the best part is sometimes, they "claim" they don't know where it goes. Really? You really think shoes belong on the kitchen table or a hair brush belongs on the couch? COME ON PEOPLE!

6. My stitches come out today at 3pm... hopefully, as long as I am healed enough. Supposed to wait until Friday, but the doctor was leaving town and I am supposed to swim that 2 mile OWS for charity on Sunday, so she agreed to evaluate them today. Praying they come out... and if they do, I will be swimming this evening!!!!!

After re-reading these, I think I need to spend more time being THANKFUL. Guess, I am bringing back Thankful Thursday.... maybe 4T - Three Things Thankful Thursday!

Not TOO Shabby Birthday and July Recap

2011-08-01T10:52:00.000-04:00

I celebrated my 34th birthday on Friday. I made out pretty well this weekend. Sunflowers - my favorite!!!! A "As long as you're sweating you're still ALIVE" Nike shirt, 3 books (Running Anatomy, Born to Run, and Duel in the Sun), a cute flower pot and a flower necklace. Sushi lunch and a movie with a girlfriend, dinner out with the family and frozen yogurt! YUM!

I guess from 80% of the gifts, you can tell I am obsessed with running. I am looking forward to reading these when I finish the other one.

Dinner out with the family was good. I got to get "dolled" up and of course the kids didn't eat, but my beef tip salad was awesome.

Before I forced her to eat just one chicken tender!

Lyle had crab cakes and like any good husband, offered me the first bite. They were yummy too, but I am a meat girl at heart, especially since we only eat seafood (and occasionally turkey) at home.

After dinner we walked to 16 Handles where we each got to pick our dessert. I think we were all thrilled to be individualized by our selections.

Half way through eating, I realized that I could have gotten mine free since it was my birthday and they didn't sing "Happy Birthday" to me. So the chorus began and since there were no candles, I teasingly blew in each of their faces... the kids laughed hysterically over that.

All in all, it was a good, low key day!

Okay, back to the serious business, July recap:

Well, folks, this was the lowest mileage month since... well, March. UGH!

Stats: July total was 153 (down from 223 in June)
Total miles for 2011: 1469

Running: 81 (down from 83 in June)
Cycling: 64 (down from 134 in June)
Swimming: 3 (down from 6 in June)

It is obvious that my cycling and swimming will drop since I am in week 2 of marathon training. I have a 2 mile swim this Sunday that I am pretty stoked about, but the 10 day hiatus from swimming due to stitches is making me a little nervous. Doctor said I could come in tomorrow to possible have stitches removed if I am healing well... here's hoping!

How did you July measure up?

Friday's Fret, Fact, and Fun - Birthday Edition

2011-07-29T15:31:00.000-04:00

Fret - I am getting nervous about my long run tomorrow with stitches. I managed 6 miles on Milles the other day, but I need to run outside. I will be alone and I am afraid if I run close to my house, it will be easier to quit. My plan is to go slow and I will be bringing my iPod in case I do want to quit too soon. I will be going early too because the temps in MD have been brutal!

Fact - Today's my birthday (and my twin sister's) and there wasn't much planned. As a mother, birthdays tend to be more subdued. My mother-in-law created a tradition a while ago that we each HAVE to wear this birthday hat on our birthday celebration as we blow out the candles. It was fun for the kids, but as adults we always complain about it. This year, I embraced it and do you know what? The hat looks much better when the person wearing it is smiling!

Fun - Instead of having the traditional cake/ice cream celebration for my birthday, I have requested a trip to 16 Handles, a frozen yogurt place. This way, we all can enjoy a special frozen treat to our liking, but only one serving.... no extra cake calling me from the fridge. I typically have ice cream cakes for my birthday because they are just AWESOME, but really... it is the center crunch that I love the best. Not sure if this will become a tradition, but I am hoping for the best.

3TT

2011-07-28T08:13:00.000-04:00

1. This morning, I completed Marathon Training Day #4 - 6 m pace. Not being exactly sure what my marathon pace should be, but knowing that a 9 min pace puts me near a 4 hour finish time, I opted to run 6 miles at 9:30 pace. And it was long, and boring on Milles. I like to run fast on Milles simply to get it down... but he was patient with me and we knocked it out. And no immediate pain in stitched area!

2. I vowed to not only work on my endurance training, but also my mental training this marathon training cycle. I picked up the book: Running Within: A guide to mastering the body-mind-spirit connection for ultimate running and racing by Jerry Lunch and Warren Scott. So far, I really like it. The first chapter: Guiding Your Progress With Goals is just what I needed to read. This sentence was particularly important to me: "It's exciting to achieve your goals, but to do so for the sake of achievement alone may exclude you from experiencing the joy in the moment." Can I get an Amen? Wow!

3. Tomorrow, is my birthday. 34. Please be sure to send all presents and well wishes attention: JEN. This way my twin sister won't open them!

In all seriously, nothing big planned, just another year, right? The kids are excited because they get cake... but I have a trick up my sleeve... no cake this year (more on that tomorrow)!

Marathon Training Day 3

2011-07-27T08:47:00.000-04:00

I ran. Yup. I did a modified Marathon Training Day 3 workout. It called for a 3 m run, but since I ~~didn't~~ couldn't do the 6 mile run yesterday, I opted to a 4 mile run this morning on Milles. I wanted to run outside, but figured if my knee started to both me, it would be easier to not have to walk home.

The run went as follows:

Mile 1 warm up: 9:00 pace
Mile 2-3: 8:30 pace
Mile 4 cool down: 9:00 pace

My stitches felt tight in the beginning but by the time Mile 1 was over, I didn't even feel the stitches. The 2 miles at an 8:30 pace felt very hard on Milles, but it is because I have been neglecting the challenge of Milles these last couple of weeks. I think I could have managed another mile at 8:30 pace, but did not want to push it. The last mile at 9:00 pace felt easy.

And about 30 minutes later, my stitched area started ache.... like considerably more than it did yesterday. So I am happy I did not push another mile but THRILLED that I was able to run 4 miles without major pain.

As I type this I am icing the area. No swelling appears, but so far, I only missed one day of training... I know, it is only Day 3. Tomorrow is a 6 mile pace run... I'm a little nervous because I am not sure what my pace should be for the marathon. I'm thinking 9:30 and I am pretty sure I can manage that on Milles.

And if you have time (and you haven't read Racing with Babes blog today) go HERE and read it. LOVE its awesomeness and she took the words right out of my mouth!!!! Love ya, T!

Post-op

2011-07-26T09:47:00.001-04:00

Before: Can you see the "bump". It doesn't look so bad, but I think that it is hard to capture in a picture. It did get a little bigger or as the Doctor said more "prominent" since I first noticed it.

And this was what it looked like hours later. It did bleed more. The funny thing was that she told me at check out: "Be sure to drive straight home, your leg will be numb in 30 minutes."

WHAT? So I did exactly that and it was the case. I actually parked the car before getting the kids and walked up to my neighbor's house because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to drive. It was sort of amusing. I think a driver would have been a better idea.

My leg stayed numb until about 5:30 and then slight pain and it steadily increase. I took an Aleve (cannot take straight Ibuprofen during to my inability to digest it - long story) and then broke out in major sweats. I feel asleep after 11:30 and woke up before 4am.

Today I feel good. It is a little tight where the stitches are... and I am probably going to take another Aleve because as I walk around more, it is starting to have minor pain.

The GOOD NEWS: It actually wasn't a cyst. It was a "fatty mass". The Doctor said it was a strange place for it to be... and that it wasn't serious at all. YAY! She said that I could potential run by Wednesday depending on my pain tolerance (mainly pulling near the stitches). This was better than the best case scenario!

The ONLY downside is that I cannot go swimming for 10 days (not sure about the shower thing though). Two reason this is a downside:

1. It is and has been EPICALLY hot here. The pool almost feels like a bath anyway, but it can still take the edge off when the kids want me to spend all day there.

2. On August 7th, I signed up for a 2 mile Open Water Swim (OWS) and I should not be taking 10 days off prior. Sure I have the endurance and it isn't a race; but I really prefer to go into my longest OWS with practice.

LESSON LEARNED: Sometimes, we freak out about nothing. Sometimes we freak out about something that turns into nothing. And sometimes we freak out about something that turns into something bigger... but that wasn't the case.

I am thrilled that this cyst turned out to be not a cyst, and the fatty mass was a best case scenario that wasn't even on the table before surgery. So I learned to trust my first instincts.

Thank you for your prayers, well wishes, texts, FB messages and love! Backatcha! MUAH!

Marathon Training Day 1 - NOT

2011-07-25T05:54:00.002-04:00

On Saturday, I attempted to run for 1 hour and 50 minutes.

2 hours and 14 minutes later, I had finished. It wasn't pretty. First 7 or so I was happy with, but the last bunch stunk. It was hot. I couldn't catch my breath. I walked a little... then a little more. Gave TG the old "go ahead, I'll catch up". I slowed my pace down.... way down. I never did catch TG.

12.7 miles done. And my quads were tight as anything come Sunday. I haven't really ran long in a few weeks. And taking off of a week to let my ankle issue heal (and it still feels awesome, btw) and then only running an 8k race last Saturday, I haven't been tacking on miles like I should be.

And this week, with the whole cyst discovery and then fretting over it... I backed down. I wanted to run again yesterday so I knocked out 4 miles before the sun came up... nice and slow. I was tired from sweating my tush off at the swim team banquet on Saturday night... seriously, look how hot I am in this picture with Kiera. It was only like 101 degrees earlier that day.

Today is the big day. I was supposed to be starting my marathon training today. RIC with Bob in November. I did complete Day 1 training: 3 mile run in 26:14, nice and slow. Its Day 2, I should be worried about.

But at 11:45 EST, I am scheduled to have the cyst removed. I'm nervous, but I trust my doctor. Hope to catch you tomorrow with very positive news. Say a prayer for me today, okay?

Friday's Fret, Fact and Fun

2011-07-22T06:58:00.000-04:00

Fret - My surgery... yes, I made the decision to get it done and it will be on Monday. I am SCARED. Scared that it will prevent me from training the way I want to. Scared that it will be something "more" or that the "worst case scenario" will come true. Silly, I know. Potentially, I could be running by the end of the week. Yesterday, I noticed that the cyst had "grown"... tell me about a sign that surgery now is the best option.

Fact - My birthday is quickly approaching. No real milestone, but birthdays make me examine my life. No regrets really; I just ponder about how I have lived, what I can do to live more for God and less for me. And my birthday is ALWAYS special. God never wanted me to be alone for my birthday, so He blessed me with a twin sister... identical "in practically no other way but looks". It is fun being a twin and even more fun now that we are older.

Fun - Well, I am meeting a special blogging friend (or two) in our Nation's Capital today. I am excited. Of course, the way we roll, we pick the hottest day of the year to get together. My kids are looking forward to meeting her kids and Kiera desperately wants to ask her "Why in the world would you cut 14 inches of your hair off!" Can you guess who?

3TT

2011-07-21T07:42:00.001-04:00

1. Swim team will end today. Yay! I have tried to get my children to do swim team for 2 years but this year was the first year I backed off and they wanted to do it. Really!

And since they wanted to do it, I encouraged and I am spent. It is a lot harder shuffling two kids out of the house by 8:30 every morning for swim practice. Last year I went into the office for an hour with the kids, grabbed work and then headed to the pool. Days of working poolside and watching the kids ended. It has been grabbing work after practice and hurrying to get it done. I think we all are looking forward to just enjoying the pool again.

2. On Monday at my "annual" appointment I had one of the best feelings in the world. When asked to step on the scale, I kept my flops on and when I got off she said, "and we deduct 2 lbs for clothes"... and I said, "oh, that isn't necessary!" BIBLE! I was only wearing a runningskirts.com (sparkle hearts if you must know ;) and a sports bra and light tank) so I know it didn't weigh 2lbs. But the reality of it was that the number was so good... EPIC good... that those 2lbs did not even matter to me. It was an awesome feeling... and one that has been hard to share with people because it kind of is like bragging... and I am, I guess... but to come this far....in 2 years. Total weight loss: 93 lbs (and that was without the 2lbs deduction ;))

3. I have decided to go under the knife. I will be scheduling it today. Thank you all for your feedback. Ultimately, I think it is the right thing to do. I do not want to do it now. I prefer to wait because I do not want to let Bob down by not being able to run RIC with him. He wants me to do it now too. Actually, all the men in my running life (Hubs, TG and Bob) want me to do it... for good reasons, mostly, so yeah. Praying it is a simple in and out and there will be no lingering affects and I will be back running within a week.

To be cut or not to be cut?

2011-07-19T17:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I had a "bump" pop up behind my knee on Saturday. It wasn't there that morning during shower grooming, but appeared by that evening and I noticed it when I was putting on my runningskirts.com purple knee-high socks. It felt hard. Not like a bug bite. I showed hubby, he laughed. I showed TG who said it looked like a cyst. I showed... well ANYONE and EVERYBODY who would look at it and gathered lots of opinions. The one that mattered the most was a Doctor's. Went to my second appointment today and confirmed, it is a cyst.

According to my Plastic Surgeon (yeah, I have one on speed dial, don't you?), it could have been "growing" for some time and then suddenly, "popped" out from behind a tendon or something to become visible.

She said it needs to be surgically removed (was hoping it could just be drained) and that I would need to take some time off of running. I asked how long and that is where it got complicated.

You see, she said that it could be a 30 minute "procedure" and I could be back running in a week. Or it could be "attached" and take much longer to heal, like 2-3 weeks.

Ummmm, I am supposed to start marathon training on July 25th.... yeah, about this surgery... I do not have time to risk 3 weeks off of training. Sure I have a huge base and I am in good shape, but this is a marathon we are talking about. And it is set, in November, with BOB!

I haven't decided completely yet... hubs thinks I should do it now; but then again, he doesn't want me to run another marathon either. I take that back, he doesn't mind me running the marathon, training for it is the real problem.

It only "hurts" after I touch it. So far it hasn't hurt during my runs or anything else. Doctor said I could wait, that there would be no harm in waiting until after the marathon!

What would you do?

2011 Rockville Rotary Twilight 8K

2011-07-18T19:11:00.002-04:00

I know... I have been absent. I will talk about where I was and why... soon! But let me fill you in on my "race".

On Saturday, I ran the 2011 Rockville Rotary Twilight 8K with TG. It was not a GOOD race for me... mentally!

Background: TG was in a "little" accident on his bike ride earlier that morning.... like serious ROAD RASH! Gnarly wounds that would have laid me up for days. I was ending my 6 days of surrendering to REST due to my chance meeting with the pot hole during my practice Tri (I know, I still owe you a write up about that race). The stars did not align for a PR! Also, this was my first evening race.

I was feeling great before the race. TG and I did a little jog around a couple of blocks, and ironically, I got a side cramp. It was funny, actually. And there was zero pain in my ankle or leg.

Race started and we were near the front. It felt hotter than I thought, but I was doing well. TG kept saying slow down but, I was feeling good. First mile: 8:06. There was a hill and my breathing was all ragged. TG was trying to talk, get me to focus... count my breaths... but I WASN'T feeling it. My attitude was ALL negative. Mile 2: 8:36. By mile 3, I was so over the race: 8:45. TG removed my Garmin by mile 3.5 because I kept looking at it in disgust.

I started feeling better by 3.5 miles in. My breathing settled, but it was too late for my attitude. TG tried to make conversation... and I snapped at him, "Look, I can't talk!"

I made it across the finish line. I was even able to kick it up a notch at the finish line... only to see vomit on the road in front of me and I started to dry heave again. Thankfully, nothing came up, but it just made it the "perfect" ending to an AWFUL race.

8k = 43:49 (8:49 pace), 229/1074 women, 41/193 in AG.

My mental game was COMPLETELY off. I am not sure I even have a mental game to begin with. An AWESOME Triathlete posted this on her blog and it made a LOT of sense to me. Click HERE to read it. I ONLY wish I had read this article prior to the race.

I was even embarrassed to be wearing a skirt... I DID not live up to the GBA feeling. I think as I begin my marathon training on July 25th, I will be working just as hard on my mental game. Are you?

Surrendering...

2011-07-12T07:01:00.000-04:00

I should be posting my DCTRI Club practice Tri recap, but I am still waiting for the results. It was very low key, only 102 participants, and the race director is working hard to get all of the numbers calculated but as of this morning, they still have not been posted.

But the one thing that I can write about is the injury. Yep.... just 2 weeks before I am to begin my marathon training program, I tweaked my ankle in a small pothole during the run. And it still hurts.

I have tweaked this ankle before... actually many times. This is the ankle that suffered much of the damage during my roller-blading years. But usually, if I keep running, it "goes away". When I have stopped, it tends to hurt more.

The pothole was about 1.5 miles in, on a sidewalk. There was some shade of trees and I just missed it. The guy behind me kind of caught me when I stumbled, but I shook it off and kept running. And then this "pain" felt different. Not the typical pain that I have felt before when I have tweaked this ankle. I started to walk a little, stretched it a little... but the pain was still persistent.

Let me clarify the pain: It isn't the type of pain that I cannot move. It is actually barely noticeable... but enough to make me feel like if I pushed it, I could really be out. So I took the last miles slowly, walked some... because it was just a practice Tri, not a goal race and I didn't want to hurt it.

The rest of the day, I still noticed the persistent "pain" but nothing horrible. I immediately FB, G - since she suffered from a f'ankle injury earlier and asked her: "Need advice: met Mr. Pothole during the run this morning; cankle hurts. What did *you* learn from your injury? Rest? Ice? What would you have done differently?"

Her reply: "BOO. If I could go back and tell myself anything, it would be to take a full week of rest from running & walking ~ wrapped, iced, elevated as much as possible. And by rest I also mean from LIFE. Don't walk to the pool, don't walk around the mall, don't do a cleaning marathon of your house. Baby it. Swim and ride this week. Cankle? are you sure it's not a F'ankle?"

And I did listen. I tried to swim yesterday and it still hurt. After 500 m, I decided, you know... maybe I need to rest from swimming too.

Let me explain where the pain is: It seems to be where this image indicates the Peroneus longus and brevis tendons. the pain starts right behind my ankle, and continues up the side of my leg about half way up.

I did the "calk squeeze" test as some sites recommended to see if it was a high ankle sprain and there was no additional pain. Actually the area is just tender... does that make sense?

So since swimming was not completely pain free, I have decided to REST. *eeek*

I know, I know... how am I going to rest? I have decided to take a week off form running, swimming and biking... and see how it feels. If by Wednesday there has been no change, I may go see my Doctor. Not because I think something is torn or think that I need an MRI, but because maybe there is something I should be doing (icing, heat, stretching) that could help.

And while I have surrendered to REST for my legs, my poor core and arms are going to be in for a long week.

I do have a fun 8k this Saturday evening. If I still have "pain", I am going to go out and volunteer instead of run it. I would like to run it... but it is not a goal race, so I want to take it easy. I have bigger goals: marathon training begins on July 25th!

3TT

2011-07-07T13:36:00.000-04:00

1. Insomnia - seems to be common in blog world, but I REFUSE to sit in bed and toss and turn. Two mornings this week I ran instead. This morning, there was enough time to run outside before my husband left for work. There is definitely something eerie about stepping outside before 4am to go for a jog. It is cooler in the morning, but the humidity is definitely still there.

And both times, I have returned, toweled off and fallen back to sleep. Yes, I did finally wash the sheets this morning. I wish I could sleep all night/morning long, but there is something to be said about having your run over with by 5am. How do you cope with insomnia?

2. No plan - I am currently in between training plans. My marathon training plan does not begin for a couple weeks and this means I have freedom to do what I want. I love and hate it. I love that I am not tied down to workouts but I think I like to know what I am supposed to be doing. This week I have already done more workouts that the last 3 weeks of my Olympic Tri plan.

And while it is NOT a bad thing, it has caused a tired body (combined with the insomnia). I do not want to get injured, so I need to play this smart. Maybe I should just start my marathon training plan early... thoughts?

Swim portion of PHLY Tri - 6/26/11

3. Practice Tri - This Sunday, TG and I are doing a practice Tri with the DCTRI Club. It is a 400m pool swim, 17 mile bike ride around Hans Point and a 3.2 mile run. TG said to look at it as a workout, but I am having a hard time not viewing it as a race. Not sure how I will do in a pool swim, but hope I don't freak out.

This practice Tri will more than likely will be my last Tri of the year. I want to do more, but I am not sure I will be able to find one. Nations Tri is September 11th, but is currently sold out. And VERY expensive. I am NOT giving up my Tri workouts as the bike and swim serve as great cross training and will surely help me in my marathon training. Do you have any races that you would LOVE to do?

"She's an athlete"

2011-07-05T18:31:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I was in a conversation with some new ladies. We were getting to know each other. 5 out of the 6 had "real" jobs. It doesn't matter that there where only 6 of us there. Believe it or not, I am kinda shy... at first. I sat there listening to them ~~brag about~~ dote on their kids and ~~brag about~~ share about their "high powered" careers. Three had nannies with them... and one of them only had 1 child (not that I have anything against nannies... hey, I think we need someone to love our children, even if you have to pay someone too).

Inevitably, the conversation circle came to me and I was asked what I do... at the exact moment Brock came up to me. I answered his question and turned back to the group and was asked again, "So, what do you do?" And before I could answer, Brock said, "She's an athlete" with his big smile and bright eyes. (Did I mention I am in love with my son?)

I felt their awkward smiles and confused looks and "clarified" his answer. But to think that my son thinks of me as an "athlete" really made my heart melt. And I guess to a 6.5 year old whose mother recently participated in a Triathlon... I am an athlete. It got me thinking.

I have COMPLETELY changed since April 2009. I am in the best shape of my life and I am continuing to change. I have challenged my body, pushed its limits, and search for new ways to strengthen it. I want to to attempt an Ironman... some day. But right now, I am happily competing in local races.

It is no secret that I would LOVE to be paid to train. I do not think I have worked as hard in any job I've held.... even when I had one of those "real" jobs. Certainly motherhood provided its challenges, but not the way my body felt after 27 miles (yeah, my total mileage for MCM was 27.3 according to my Garmin).

And all of my Negative Nancy internal conversation needs to be curbed! I can be in the best shape but if I cannot figure out how to think positive, be secure in my training/ability, and see the successes, it will completely halt my progress.

I know... I need to think of myself, the way my innocent 6.5 year old son sees me: I am an ATHLETE! (If I saw the chick below at the finish line, I would certainly think she was an athlete!)

Finish line of the Philly Tri - 6/26/11

Would you?

"Long" run that sucked

2011-07-03T22:03:00.000-04:00

I was excited to run with TG since it has been like FOREVER since we last run together. I went into the run a little arrogant because I had still kept up my distance and TG hadn't (mainly because he has a real job and I don't). Like I had two double digit mile runs around an 830 pace and well, TG didn't - yeah, I just knew I was going to be able to hang with him.

Excuse #1 for sucking: TG needed to run at 8 and I am used to being finished and home by 8am in the summer. I love the sun. I even LOVE summer. But running in the humid temps in the summer... stinks. It wasn't super bad (I have totally run in worst conditions), but it threw me off of my game.

Excuse #2 for sucking: I couldn't catch my breath. I have no idea why, really. By mile 2, I was breathing like I had just sprinted around the track. Sure it was a Code Orange day (literally), but I was breathing like a stalker. And when I finally was able to get a deep breath, a side stitch arrived. Boo!

Excuse #3 for sucking: We ran our "usual" course, but the slightly hilly trail did a number on my knees. By mile 3, I was seriously wanting to take the trail back to our neighborhood. My knees were aching. Was I still recovering from my Tri? I doubt it. I mean, I did have several runs after the Tri and did not have any issue with me knees.

Excuse #4 for sucking: Pace. Yes, PACE! I always seem to have a problem maintaining the same pace as TG. Even when he runs "my" pace, I feel like it is all I can do to stay with him. By mile 6, I stopped and walked about a 1/4 of a mile and waved TG on. He reluctantly went. As I started running again, I WAS maintaining a 830 pace... what is the deal? Why can't I maintain that pace while running next to him. UGH!

Excuse #5 for sucking: My IT band started to act up again. I mean, I haven't had that pain in a LONG TIME. I have no idea why. Was all of my pains in my head?

Excuse #6 for sucking: I walked... as in miles. Yep. I mentally and physically checked out at 11.5 miles. I walked 2 miles home. Pathetic. And I can only name a few parts of my body that did not ache.

In the end, I was glad to get a run with TG, but I am not sure we will be running together again anytime soon. He is training for a 70.3 and he *needs* to run his runs without this "sucker" holding him back.

As for my mental breakdown during the runs... what is with that? I was a COMPLETE whiner in my head... a total Negative Nancy! I had no problem running a solo 13.4 mile run 2 weeks ago at a 8:30 pace. And this run... well, let me just say, 11.5 miles in just under 2 hours.... not at all happy about that.

Have you had long runs that just SUCKED?

June Stats and Race Calendar

2011-07-01T07:25:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe it is July already. Where did June go?

Here are my stats:

Total: 223 (down from 313 in May)
Total for 2011: 1316 miles

Run: 83 (down from 85 in May)
Swim: 6 (down from 8 in May)
Bike: 134 (down from 220 in May)

Interesting to see how fast stats can change when a) the kids are out of school and b) I tapered for PHLYTRI.

I am really looking forward to more running. As far as future races, here is what I have on deck:

July 10th - DCTRI Practice Sprint Tri
July 16th - Rockville Rotary Twilight 8K
July 24th - Rocketts Landing - OLY Tri - (thinking about it)
Aug. 7th - Riley's Rumble (13.1) or 2 mile OWS for "PurpleSwim"
Aug 28th - Annapolis 10 miler (running with TriGuy)
Sept 11th - Parks Half Marathon (not registered yet but with Bob)
Sept 11th - Nation's Tri - Oly (currently sold out)
Oct. 15th - Baltimore Half Marathon (running with TriGuy)
Nov. 12th - Suntrust Richmond Marathon (running with Bob)

Potentials for 2012:

May 6 - Takoma City Marathon
Sept - 70.3 - Richmond

I have a lot to think about. Racing any other same races as me?

3TT: PHLYTRI Afterthoughts + 1

2011-06-30T07:12:00.000-04:00

It has been four mornings since I competed in my first International Triathlon. Many, many thoughts have been racing through my mind. Bare with me as I try to narrow it down to 3....

1. Yes, I really am bummed I missed my goal of under 3 hours. If you go back through all of my blogs about PHLYTRI, never once do I talk about this goal... but it was there. Come on, we all do it. We put pressure on ourselves but never vocalize it because it seems so unattainable. (Do you know I missed my 1st marathon goal by 3 minutes as well?). I think had it taken me well over 3 hours I would not be as bummed, but to be so close. To know EXACTLY where I could have made the difference to go under 3 hours.

I had a neighbor say to me: "Is anything good enough?" after she read that I was disappointed in my time. It has got me thinking... yes, there are some things that ARE good enough, but as an athlete, we are ALWAYS looking for ways to improve our times, our stride, our effort. Even if I had gone under 3 hours, I am sure I would have complained that my transitions were too slow or imagined if I had taken it harder on the bike. This does not mean that I will never be satisfied (I think). I believe it means that I am always looking for ways to do my best and improve.

2. I have decided to wait to attempt a 70.3. It isn't because I think I cannot do it... I KNOW I can. It is because I want to do it well. For me, racing is more than just finishing. I was to finish strong. There are a couple of 70.3 brewing around in the area and I haven't selected which one to attempt in 2012, but KNOW that it is my year! I toyed with the idea to go straight into an IM... and I haven't completely ruled it out (remember, I ran a marathon before ever running a 1/2 marathon) but financially, I may have to stick to a 70.3.

TriGuy is going to his 70.3 debut this September. I am super excited for him and I am currently trying to figure out a way to spectate his race. It would be fun to go race with him, but he has a year on me with racing Tris... I still need to fix some kinks, so:

I have signed up for a DCTRI Club Sprint Tri on July 10th - a $10, no pressure race with a flat bike course and run. I am eying some particular goals for this race.
Currently searching for an Oly to add to my calendar to try and break 3 hours. Nations Tri is sold out but there may be some spots available (but it is the same weekend as TG's 70.3)

3. The RUN: Ironically, this is the part of the Tri that has me most disappointed. I think I could have taken this faster. To average 9.28 for a 10k is the reason I am bummer about not breaking 3 hours. My first 4 miles were around 9min and I know I was being conservative. I KNOW I was holding back because I was unsure of my leg's condition coming off of the bike. But it ultimately was my negative thoughts that sealed my fate. Here is the part of the recap that I did not include:

As I was running, I saw a mile marker for mile 5 and thought, "Wow, already?" I looked at my Garmin and realized this marker was for the people who had already turned around, I was barely at 4.5. Metal Defeat settled in. Suddenly my right quad felt tight... felt like it was going to cramp. Then my ankles started to hurt (probably from running on the grass areas). Next I said literally, "I'm going to have to walk.... back it down! You will never finish." And the slow torture of my negative thoughts took control. It wasn't until mile marker 6 that I was able to shake it by saying to myself, "Seriously, .2 of a mile.... you could crawl that in... you are going to make it!"

I am going to have to work on this big time... and not just with races. Sometimes, my negative thoughts take over more of my life than I prefer and I refuse to allow them to. Now I just need to do something about it!

+1. Last night, my children competed in their first swim meet.

(Well, Kiera did swim team when she was 5, beat 8 & 9 year olds with her time and decided that she did not like the butterflies waiting for her heat. Like any neurotic over competitive mom, I made her try one more meet, watched her break down, swim extremely fast and break down again and decided if this was not fun for her, why do it.)

Flash forward 2 years: My children went from "Nah, I don't want to do swim team, I already know how to swim" on June 10th to not only joining the swim team, practicing, and signing up for the swim meet, to actually both winning their heats. It does not matter to me that they were probably misplaced in their heats (meaning it was an easy win for both of them)... they have built their confidence and are stoked. It is awesome to watch them compete and to cheer. I kept saying to all of the swimmers (I was one of the Clerk of the Courses), "To win, you just have to start!" (Hmmm.... if I could just get that through my head!)

Do I have Triathletes in the making?

Yes, I ROCKed the PHLYTRI 2011!

2011-06-27T19:59:00.001-04:00

If you follow me on FB, then you KNOW that I finished the PHLYTRI and accomplished all of my goals. Here are my stats:

Total time: 03:03:00
1096/1586 total participants
287th/534 woman
48th/101 in Age Group
Swim: 27:55 (without wetsuit)
Transition 1: 2:44
Bike: 1:28:23 (16.8 mph average)
Transition 2: 3:11 (seems so slow)
Run 58:45 (9:28 pace, Boooo)

Details:

The trip up with TriGuy was awesome... he played DJ (great music selections) and talked strategy and the next thing I knew we had arrived in Philly.

Besides getting hardly any sleep due to noisy hotel guests, I was really pumped. TriGuy had a way of distracting me and really, the butterflies only started about 10 minutes prior to my wave start... not bad!

As my wave was called to line up, the annoying chick who really had no personality asked if anyone had an extra pair of goggles. Remembering what happened at Columbia to E, I decided to bring an extra pair of throw-away in case mine broke. I raised them up, the girl whose goggles had broken hugged me, the wave cheered... and there, I got Swim MoJo! (BTW: the swim was deemed wetsuit illegal despite the day before it being wetsuit legal. Water temp: 78.6)

Within minutes we entered the water, which felt a lot warmer at first and then suddenly got cooler (probably because it got deeper). Seconds later the horn went off and we started. At first I had a huge fear and then I just focused. It was a long swim so I might as well settle in. And do you know what? I did. I never really panicked. I did flip on my back once and did back stroke but that was mainly to catch my breath at first about 1/2 way in. It felt strong. I felt confident. I ended up breathing every other stroke. I was happy!

Transition 1 was easy since I didn't have to remove a wetsuit. I hated that there were not any mats coming out of the water so my feet were covered in mud and I bet it could have been an even faster time had I not had to remove it. I saw some athletes with buckets of water and they dipped their feet in... great idea.

Hopped on the bike and settled in for a long ride. TriGuy had driven me on the course the day before so I knew what to expect. I saw the hills. Like seriously HILLS. But there was also a lot of flat areas. On the flat areas I averaged between 18 - 21 mph and on the hills about 10 - 13 mph. I was feeling good and encouraged everyone who I passed. I did not get much in return, but hey... its okay if I am that "happy" girl on the course.

(Forgot to mention that TriGuy changed his wave so he was only 10 minutes behind my start time instead of 20).

On the second big hill, right at the top, about 20.5 miles in, TriGuy caught me. I was pumped that it took him that long and actually wanted go with him when he passed me, but decided to bike my race, not his.... not that I could have kept up with him. And I followed my goal by spinning out my legs the last mile which wasn't too hard since there was a slight incline and huge downhill into transition.

Hopped off the bike and walked it in. At first I wanted to run, but remembered my goal was to walk the bike in so I could get my legs used to being on the ground. At this point I unhooked my Garmin and took off my helmet as I was walking my bike. I thought I was fast in transition, but the start of the run began farther out of T2 than I expected. I actually started my Garmin too early on the run (before I crossed the timing mat) but decided not to reset it.

I started running and felt great. I brought my palm bottle but quickly realized that I did not want anything in my hands and ditched it. I should mention that it got really cloudy which was perfect... no sun beating down on me during the run. I kept looking at my pace and it jumped between 7:30 and 9 min the entire mile. I felt good but did not want to go to fast. The course was a turn around at 1.5 miles in and another at 4.8 miles in. I saw TriGuy and he gave me a hi-five. It was a huge boost. I felt good. He looked strong. I passed a lot of people and cheered on everyone that I passed.

You can really tell that most Triathletes are not runners. I felt this was my chance. I was never passed by anyone in my age group but it is hard being passed in a Tri. In a normal race, when someone passes you, you might go with them. Once this chick totally zoomed by me and I decided to hang with her around mile 3 and then I looked at her calf, she was on the Relay Team. This was the only part of the race she did. I looked down and was cruising at 7:30. Obviously, I let her go ahead. It did bother me to have people pass me. Mostly men in the waves behind me. A few women in the other AGs that I must have passed on the bike. Around 4.5 miles in... I started to feel a twinge in my right quad. Not bad, but like it was starting to be something. TriGuy passed me and hi-fived me again (later when I asked him, he said I did not look as good as I did earlier). I was getting fatigued. I was afraid to push it because I didn't know if my quad cramped if it would force me to walk. And people were walking all over the place. At mile 5, I said to myself, "yeah, I wouldn't want to be running 13 miles right now" (So jumping ahead, I will NOT be signing up for Patriots Half IM in September). By mile 6, I was so over the run, but was so happy to be almost done. I picked it up... a lot, ran the last .2 at 7:30 pace.

I crossed the finish line and then heard my name (they did a great job calling out everyone's names), got handed a really cold towel, my medal, a bottle of water... and I was ECSTATIC. I just had completed an Olympic Tri! Yay!

TriGuy found me within minutes and got me chocolate milk/grub. He did great (PRd by 6 minutes and still had gas in his tank). I am pleased. It was a good experience. I got bitten by the bug... I am currently looking for another Oly and I am pretty sure I like that distance better than a Sprint.

Next post, I will talk about my thoughts, lessons, and future!

Mommy Guilt

2011-06-25T11:10:00.000-04:00

Realizing this morning that this is the first race I have ever competed in away from home, I went into mommy guilt mode.

Laundry - Check
Grass mowed - Check
House cleaned - Check
5 Rounds of wii Bowling - Check (BTW: I am still the champion)
8 stories - check
30 minutes of a tickling stint - CHECK
1 hour cuddling (Kiera is still feeling "sick") - check

I didn't repack my bag, but I did go over in my head what I would need for each part of the race, and made a mental note of whether it was in my bag. I missed 4 things:

1. Gatorade. I had my fuel, but didn't have gatorade to put in my water bottles.

2. Towel. This is important because I need to dry off my feet after the swim... of course I doubt the pros do that.

3. Chip tag. I purchased this chip band that is velcro and seemed more comfortable than the ones they provide at races. Not sure whether I will be able to use it, but wanted to bring it so my ankle did not chafe.

4. Sunglasses. Yep.... sort of need this for the ride and for the run.

BTW: I packed 4 goggles... I am freaked my goggles will break at the start, plus I started swimming with a new pair a few weeks ago and I am not 100% committed to them. I want to have options that morning.

In case you forgot:

Sunday, June 26th, Wave 9: 7:30am, Bib 1273

PHILTRI: .9 mile swim / 24.8 mile bike / 6.2 mile run

1273

2011-06-24T19:14:00.000-04:00

I found the perfect way to take your mind off of an upcoming race... but I do NOT recommend it. Having your daughter get a "tummy" thing on the eve of her 8th birthday just two days before you are set to leave for your first International Distance Triathlon is a great distraction.

Poor thing... spent 80% of her birthday in bed complaining of her belly hurting. No fever. Took her to the doctors... no strep.... no real explanation. No vomit, no diarrhea... just an ache in her tummy. I guess this is a new way to taper too.... do zero exercising... not even my date with Tony Horton.

Today, much of the same. Still not 100% but something new popped up... she started to talk about her fear of my race. Has my incessant talk about my fears of the Tri seeped into my daughter's head? Was she worried?

This evening, she said, "I'm afraid you won't come back." What? I have been away many times and never has she had such a reaction. I explained to her that I would be back, that it was silly and she then said, "But you haven't ever gone that far before?" I asked to Philly? And she said, "No, swimming".

Maybe she has overheard my worry about swimming almost a mile in the river in Philly. Maybe she has sensed my fear. Regardless, I did not want to spend the last days in bed with my daughter instead of prepping for the Tri.

Oh, don't worry, my bag has been packed since Monday... yeah, I am spastic. I am sure I will unpack it tomorrow morning and repack. This afternoon, while Kiera was occupied with a movie, I gave Athena a nice bath, lubed her up and made sure my saddle pack was stocked just in case of that flat.

My bib number is 1273. Not sure you can track athletes, but if you can... I am a-go for Sunday, Wave 9 for the PHILTRI.

Wish me luck? Believe in signs from numbers? Tell me what 1273 says to you!

Next?

2011-06-22T07:00:00.004-04:00

Like I have mentioned for the last 9 months, my International Distance (yeah, I like typing that) Triathlon is in Philly this Sunday... as in June 26th. Meaning, it is exactly 5 days away... so why last night, during my GBA swim workout (more on that later) was I thinking about what I was going to do next? Crazy.... I haven't even completed this goal. My mind sure goes in strange directions during workouts.

Speaking of GBA swim workouts, I have been swimming at the pool with a group of other parents with the swim team coach. We haven't always had the distance that I wanted, so last night, I arrived early and knocked out 800m before the workout started... let me just admit: STUPID! Coach tonight was totally going to prove me wrong (not to mention telling me I swim completely wrong).

Here was the workout:

200m free warm up
6 x 100m free sprints with 15 second rests between each set
4 x 100m building free (50m), 25m breast, 25m free sprint
200m - back (50m), 25m breast, 25m free

Yeah, Coach H wanted me to pay for coming early, I think. Each time I wanted to quit. My arms are quite sore. But this will be my last swim "workout" until after Philly... Yay, TAPER ISLAND! (Boooo).

I did learn a couple of things that I plan to implement in Philly.

1. I usually breathe on every 3rd stroke which means I breathe on each side. When I was ~~whining~~ talking to the coach about implementing his suggestions and my breathing seemed all whack (yeah, professional word), he said, "Try breathing every 2 strokes"... and do you know what? It seemed easier. It seemed like I was getting more air and wasn't rushing my strokes to take a breath. I felt more relaxed.

2. I swim too "pretty". Yup... coach said that I need wider strokes and to make it sloppier. Seemed completely unnatural too. But I am working on it... arms slapping the water, splashing.

3. Head down.... further. Obviously, I swim with my head down, but by looking straight down, I am swimming more efficiently... try it! I felt like I was gliding across the water. I am going to test this at Philly... if I remember. Efficient = faster!

4. Rotate my core more to maximize breath intake and stretch my stroke. I was reluctant to try it, but it did feel better. Who knew that this ex-swim teacher and ex-swim team coach swam wrong her whole life?

Okay... time to get back to Taper Island, where is my Pomtini?

Vocalizing my goals...

2011-06-21T15:02:00.000-04:00

I have not been blogging. I think I have been thrown off my schedule since the kids are out of school and I am redecorating Kiera's room for her birthday... her choice (more on that Thursday!)

I have talked about my goals for the International Tri that I am racing in Philly this Sunday to anyone who will listen, but I have NOT written them down... so here they are:

Swim: Don't Drown

No seriously, my goal is to swim without quitting, no panicking and if I do panic, to regain my composure as quickly as possible to get back to it. As you remember from the Sprint I did in April, 200 m in I FREAKED. Like I so wanted to quit... get out of the water.... never swim again. But I didn't (for fear of being made fun of, gotta love peer pressure) and did the breast stroke the rest of the way... taking 22 minutes on what should have taken only 15 minutes. In Philly the swim is almost a mile so my plan is to take my time, focus on breathing and just enjoying the swim. Goal: Panic with quick recovery!

Bike: Don't Fall

Okay, I really just want to not go all out and have no legs for the run. I have several 40+ milers under my belt, so 25 miles should not be so bad. And the routes I take, according to TG, are more hilly than the course in Philly. With that said, I would really also like not to chafe my lady parts. Still struggling with this... and I find that about 15 miles in, it starts to hurt. Seriously considering wearing a diaper, but cannot figure out how to transition into the diaper after the swim (before the swim would just leave me with a very soggy tush!) Goal: Save my legs, but go hard.

Run: Don't Die

I hope to save something for the run, my STRONGEST event. Seriously, I have ran a marathon, I eat 6.2 miles as a snack.... I got this. But the probably is, the rest of my body will be fatigued and hot and I will probably be mentally defeating myself the ENTIRE TIME. So my realistic goal is to not walk. I would like to run the entire 6.2 miles, even if it is 10 min miles... still running, right? Goal: Run 6.2 miles.

And the ultimate goal is to not let TG catch me. I am in wave 9 and TG is in wave 13 (out of 14... yeah, he is NOT happy). I have a 20 minute head start on him.... but realistically, he probably will catch me just hopefully not on the swim.

Have any advice for this International Tri-Virgin?

Don't look back too long...

2011-06-17T21:41:00.001-04:00

Today is TriGuru's b-day. He turned a big number.... like the one we don't want to come, but sneaks up on us anyway and then all of a sudden... we are "old".

I think he had mixed feelings about today, but honestly, I feel like the best years of my life are ahead of me. Sure, I can say that with meaning because it wasn't my birthday and I did not turn a big number (actually 6 years away *wink wink*)... but what is age, really?

When I was 27 I was COMPLETELY out of shape. Home taking care of my two children 16 months apart. I was lucky if I remembered to brush my teeth. No interaction except with other mothers and we seemed to talk about our children's eating habits and bowel movements. Not exciting that is for sure. I never had time to workout or to shower for that matter.

Don't get me wrong. I understand and appreciate how blessed I was to be able to stay home with my children. But it was about 5 years of total devotion to them. I forgot who Jen was. I became K & B's mom.

In 2009 when I finally decided that to be a better mother meant that I had get myself back into shape, I did feel like I was neglecting my family, but I had the support of my husband. He knew and wanted me to be Jen again. I am in the best shape of my life now and only see me getting better.

So remember, as we turn a year older, as we approach those big numbers, think about where you have been for a minute... and then concentrate completely on where you are going! Looking back too long strains our neck... focusing forward gives us momentum; drive.

Happy Birthday, TriGuru!

3TT: Soaking Edition

2011-06-16T10:51:00.000-04:00

1. Yesterday was my LAST day of freedom as school ends today (and it is a half day). I spent the morning soaking up attention from a great friend and the afternoon soaking up the rays from the sun. The day ended with swim team practice (and conversation with some awesome moms), dinner that EVERYONE actually ate, mowing the lawn (since we will be in NC this weekend celebrating my nephew's 1st birthday), and an extremely boring ride on the trainer. I need some text buddies to make the miles fly away (send me an email if you are interested: hahleewude {at} verizon {dot} net. I started watching Man v. Food, which was in Philly (where my Oly debut will be), but it made my stomach growl... seriously a 6lb Philly Cheesesteak - YUM!

2. Today, I am a 2nd grade teacher. I know, it is odd for a teacher to miss the last day of school, but she is getting married this weekend... I kinda think she has the right to plan her wedding, right? Kiera (who is in 2nd grade) has been hearing comments from her friends in the class about how cool it was that *I* was going to be their sub. She was proud and then started to get jealous that I wasn't going to be her sub. By 10am, I had danced to Taio Cruz's Dynamite, sung Alice Cooper's "School Out for Summer", and was told, "Wow, Mrs. Green, you *are* cool!" Subbing ROCKS and is truly an ego stroke! Of course, they might just be thrilled to have ANY sub on the last day of school, but I am soaking it all in... enjoying their praises!

3a. Brock has his "Moving Up" ceremony today for Kindergarten. I am sure I will shed a few tears. I cannot believe how fast this year went by. He is cuter than ever, bright, friendly, loving, compassionate, courageous, sweet, and most of all cuddly. This morning, at 5am, he crawled into bed with me. He first asked why I was wet. I had just showered after P90X, AB Ripper X show down. Then he said, "You know why I love you so much mommy?" And I said, "ummm, because I give good tickles (as I tickled him)?" He said, "Nope, because you hold me just when I want you to!" How SWEET is that? I totally soak up those moments when my little boy allows me to love him. Yes, he has already asked me to kiss him *before* the bus comes so no one sees (despite getting on at the first bus stop), but moments like this WON'T last forever. I just held him as our breaths fell into sync and prayed for him and thanked God for this incredible blessing.

3b. Since I doted on Brock, let me dote on Kiera. She loves school. She is a pleaser and wants to make sure she does what you expect of her (except eat vegetables and fruit). She is quite compassionate and even recently displayed specific empathy for a fellow student who got severely injured at recess and recounted, "I looked at him, and he saw me, and I could see the look in his eyes that he needed me to be with him...". Wow. Yeah, she will be 8 on the 23rd.

She is loving, friendly, empathetic, a leader (or bossy ;-) ), witty, and most of loves her little brother.

--------------
I hope you have a great Thursday!

Rendezvous, then I'm through with you....

2011-06-14T19:00:00.001-04:00

Dear Self Doubt,

We have been together for a LONG time. I am sorry I do not remember when exactly you came into my life, but in some of my earliest memories, you were ever present. Like that time when I was 5, and my brother said I could make it across the monkey-bars. I started with confidence and then in the middle, I looked down and then looked at the end. I KNEW I couldn't make it. I just KNEW that I was going to fall and hurt myself. Sure enough, I did.

And that time when I was 7 and I was racing the neighborhood boy on my bike down a very steep hill. I was in the lead, I was going soooo fast. I turned and looked back. He was approaching me fast, I turned back and thought, "Oh, no, he is going to win!" Down I went. Pretty hard too. Hard enough that my father refused to let me visit my mother in the hospital because my facial wounds looked way wicked.

With each incident you grew stronger and stronger. You became a regular thought in middle school.... those cruel years. Yeah, I developed faster than most of the other girls and those boys helped you make me feel inferior. Bra snaps, evil eyes (from the girls), and mean comments as I walked by. I think this is exactly when you took up permanent residence.

I entered high school somewhat defeated but as I joined the Cross Country, Basketball and Track teams, you tended to disappear. I was successful, you were almost invisible... and only crept in once in a blue moon. Mostly those moments right before a meet or a game. You didn't stay too long, but long enough to let me know you were around. You remained here pretty much through college.

Motherhood gave you a second wind though. You grew and grew and soon, it was all I could think about. Was I doing this right? Were my children going to starve to death or go to college in their diapers. I am proud that they are independent, bright, and successful. You try to take a hold of them too, but I know your M.0., I circumvent your strategies... so far so good.

But why do you think you need to remain here? I have been successful. I HAVE trained for this Oly. I plan to go in confident and NOT be pushed down by your negativity. I refuse to continue to allow you to be in control. I have confidence now... maybe too much, just shy of arrogance.

I got this... and you, my friend, need to go on a vacation. I hear Key West is nice this time of the year... so "Rendezvous, I'm THROUGH with you... "

And don't let the door hit you on the way out,

Jen

Sunday run... and swim

2011-06-13T10:11:00.000-04:00

So my Tri plan called for an easy run on Sunday, after the Brick on Saturday. I was planning to just run 7. But my mind was going CRAZY. Too much to think about. I spent the first 7 miles clearing my head, making decisions, remaking decisions, confirming my decision, and then finally trying to let go which made for a much easier 6.4 miles that flew by. That is right, I ran 13.4 miles. I was pleased that I slowed down and my average pace was 8:45.... a good long run pace for me. The first 7 were run around 8:15 which is just too fast for a long run.

I think I forget how much a nice run can clear your mind. I swear I can save the world when I think on my runs. Thinking on my runs require me to 1) run alone and 2) have no music. I have to admit it is intimidating to start a run without either, but I always know that something magical can happen out there. It is like the old saying, "You never regret the run you did, only the ones you skipped."

After the run (and shower), the family and I headed to worship were the last statement the pastor made was: "God takes was is ordinary and makes it extraordinary!" So true. I am NOTHING without God. Sometimes I feel like I get a busy signal when I need God, but truthfully, I think it is just God's way of showing me that He has equipped me. I know what I *need* to do. I know what I *should* do... I just need to DO IT!

The afternoon was spent soaking up the rays at the pool and the day ended with the parent swim team practice. It was an interesting approach. Another mother thought maybe we could take advantage of the swim team coaches and use them for exercise, stroke techniques and just to become more efficient swimmers. I was immediately interested. By Saturday afternoon 3 dads had signed up too. Like the dork I am, I showed up 20 minutes early. Soon 3 other moms showed up and one dad (practice is on Sun, Tues and Thurs nights). I was "put" in the lane with the dad since I was already a swimmer. It was a workout. Apparently everything I thought I knew about swimming is wrong. I mean, does swimming change like the way math does? Seriously, when I sub in 4th grade, they are learning division and multiplication, but they use COMPLETELY different methods than we were taught. And I had a difficult time understanding how I was supposed to teach them Math. I was teased by the kids, but when I showed them my way of doing it, how I was taught, they looked stumped.

Same principle applied to swimming last night especially with freestyle. I was told to put my head under water when I swim. It felt weird at first, but do you know what? I WAS swimming faster because it forced my legs to the top of the water which made it easier to kick; less effort since there was less water to move. I was told to keep my arms should width apart (which I have to confess I had read in my Tri book), but I naturally swim with my arms entering the water in front of my head. It WAS a lot to think about. Twice I swallowed water because I was thinking too much. I did get praise on my back stroke, but I do not think I will be using that most in my Tri. I look forward to working on my breast stroke too since that is what I will be using if I freak out again at Philly.

Speaking of Philly... it is less than 2 weeks away. GULP!

Bricking

2011-06-11T09:39:00.000-04:00

After the Brick, courtesy of Kiera.

This morning my training plan called for a Brick. I used to do a lot of bricks because they really worried me, but TG said that I didn't need to do too many of them (of course this was all before I was following a plan).

I had to ride for 1 hour and 30 min and run for 30 minutes. Since we have had "feels like" temps above 100 degrees, I decided I would head out as soon as the sun was up. 5:15 am came early and to my surprise it was light out already. I quickly dressed in my "fancy" and free trisuit (since I wanted to try it out before Philly). Since it was slightly breezy, I decided to where my nightlite Brooks wind coat. It also makes me feel safer. I headed out on my normal hilly route. Plan was to go out 45 minutes and turn around. I debated about whether I should stop my watch at the lights, but determined I would not and just maximize my effort. The ride out felt great and it ALWAYS feels tough coming home, but in places (hills) where I typically go 10mph or slower I was going 12-13mph. I was nervous that my legs would be shot for the run, but tried to think positive.

I put my gears in low and increased my cadence the last mile so my legs would be ready for the run. I think it really worked. Total ride: 23.1 miles

I hoped off, shed my Brooks jacket, took my garmin off the bike, changed my shoes and grabbed my new handheld Nathan palm bottle. I was back out in less than 3 minutes.

My legs felt great. Too great actually. My pace for the first 1.2 mile was 7:30. I told myself to slow down but never really managed much lower than 8 minute miles which does bother me. I do not think I could have maintained that intensity for 6.2 miles... but I guess I will find out in Philly in 2 weeks.

Around 18 minutes into the run, I fell. Out of the blue. I did not trip. I did not feel off balance. I mean, I blinked and was tucking and rolling. My elbow and new handheld took the brunt of it... and I feel like a baby with a little scrape on my elbow. I spent the next mile thinking: "What just happened?" Thankfully all of the people I knew who were leaving the hood to go to swim team time trials passed me just before I fell. There was a nice lady walking her really old dog that just stared at me... but for the life of me, I have NO IDEA what happened.

I feel fine, besides my elbow. Total run: 3.7 miles in 30 minutes

I did take some mental notes about the Brick that I would like to figure out before Philly:

1. How do I get my lady parts comfortable with the ride? I used CHAMOIS BUTT'R for the first time today and really... it didn't help at all.

2. How do I hydrate on the ride? I took two bottles with me and took two sips at a stop light, but I cannot figure out how to ride and drink. I think I may be too clumsy.

3. How do I slow down on the run when I first get off my bike? I mean, really? 7:30 this morning? Too fast. Maybe this will work itself out after the swim and bike, I may not have the energy.... but I would rather be conservative in the beginning and let it go the last mile of the Tri.

The DC Tri MoCo group was going 62 miles this morning... I was SOOOO tempted... but I decided I *needed* to follow my plan. Boooo!

Letting Go...

2011-06-09T06:51:00.000-04:00

I have a problem with letting go. I run a tight ship. I have expectations for everyone and everything around me and do you know what.. 90% of the time, they go exactly the way I want them too. It is that 10% of the time... the things that are out of my control that I struggle with... that I beat myself up over.

Last night was a perfect example of my life. It was the PTA End of the Year picnic. As the President-elect for the incoming year (yes, I wanted to be President), I felt the need to be ever present. We have several positions that need filling, so I was going to mingle, play the crowds, circulate... kiss the babies.

It didn't go as planned. First, I subbed all day, so I knew there was no going home until after the picnic (think 12 hour day). My lovely children decided they wanted to stay and help set up too, which meant that I needed to keep an eye on them. The person in charge was 45 minutes late with all of the "stuff" that needed setting up... so we stood around... waiting. Finally, we work quickly and all looks like it will go well until... there was NO ONE to do the free face painting table. None of the teenagers... I mean out of 10 of them, that volunteered for service hours wanted to do face painting. Excuse after excuse, left me... with that job.

Okay, I am not *that* bad. But the problem is that I am a perfectionist. The first girl up wanted a puppy. Okay.... not too hard. I convince her that I can painted Clifford the Big Red Dog on her cheek and she happily agrees... and it did not look too bad. Her mom said, "It looks just like Clifford... hey, you are good!!!!" I was thinking... really? Because his left ear is longer than his right, and his nose is all off centered.... you get the drift, right?

Next up, a flower.... EASY-PEASY, right? Sure... but I wanted to give it dimension and texture... but the girl was like 3... she just wanted a flower. Another happy child sent on their way. And this was how it was for the next 2.5 hours. Painting spider, snakes, hearts, flowers, kittens, puppies, mustaches (on little girls), ponies, airplanes, and peace signs. But there was one that sent me over the edge. She wanted a white unicorn with red hair. It was bad. It was where this perfectionist had to let go, but didn't. In the end, it looked like a white puppy with a penis on its head. Honestly, I tried ~~hard~~... to make it look like a unicorn. Her mother laughed it off... I made fun of myself... but I could not get this "bad" unicorn out of my head. And do you know what... the 20 or so children after that... their paint jobs were crappy as well. I had defeated myself. I kept replaying that unicorn in my head over and over again trying to fix it. Maybe I should have started with the horn instead of the nose. Maybe I could have outlined it first and then painted it. Or maybe, I could have admitted that it was out of my league and offer her another suggestion.

I have been reading a lot in blog world about bad races, bad workouts, bad runs. For me a bad race is not doing my best. Sure, I try to aim for a time, but a bad race is like... well, is like walking with 200 yards left of a race like I did for Jeremy's Run. Or running too fast for a 10-miler and then dry-heaving the last mile... defeating yourself with each step.

I have been training and training for this Olympic Tri which is like 2 weeks away... but I haven't been training my head. I need to know when to turn it off and just do it. Suck it up. I over think EVERYTHING... the problem is that I am such a control freak, I don't really know how to turn my brain off... let go... do my best... accept my failures.... stop the negative, defeating thoughts that sure are not helping me get to the finish line and start chanting, "You got this!" "You trained for this!" "So what... it isn't a PR, but you will be darn close!" "It is your first Oly Tri... do your best, you WILL be happy with that!"

The unicorn girl did come back to my line. Not because she demanded a redo.... on the contrary. She brought her little brother with her... he wanted an airplane, blue with red stripes. By this time, there were 2 other teenagers helping. When one of their lines freed up, the boy said, "can I have her do it?" Referring to the cute teenage girl next to me. And the mother said, "No, Mrs. Green is good, let her do it!" I started to laugh, make excuses... but instead, I smiled.

How do you turn your brain off, let go... and in the end, JUST DO IT?

Running too fast

2011-06-08T09:54:00.000-04:00

Last night, my Olympic Tri plan called for 14 minutes of threshold running and a warm-up and cool down for a total of 38 minutes. I hesitated to pay Milles a visit, but decided I preferred to run outside. I grabbed my water belt and hit the road a little before 7pm. It was 84 degrees and the humidity made me sweat just trying to get my Garmin to locate the satelite. I put my headphones in and ran.

I was feeling good. My legs felt strong, but my arms were tired from the swim workout the day before. I also firgured out a setting on my Garmin (thanks to TG) that I had not used... ever. Current Pace. Sounds simple enough, but all last year (while training for the marathon) I used Average Pace... and never knew what I was running right then. TG has a knack for guessing our pace. I do NOT. I was hoping to run my thresholds at 8 min/miles and my cool down and warm up at 8:30 min/miles. Every time I looked at my Garmin, I was running under 8. UGH!

My slowest mile was mile 1 at 8:15 and there is a HUGE hill. I couldn't slow down. I remembered a trick that Bob told me a while ago about stopping to walk to get my legs out of the tempo of running fast. Even that did not do the trick. Not sure if it was the heat (meaning I wanted to get my run over with) or if I am really getting that much faster.

My speed I have attributed to running with TG. He is fast. Beyond fast... like, I probably should not be running with him because he is too fast. Like his long run pace is faster than 8:30 min/miles, and for me, that is hard to maintain for 10+ miles. When I think I cannot maintain that pace, TG encourages me... (gives me stuff) about not keeping up with him. It is motivating, but I am afraid I have slowed him down more than I have kept up with him.

So I finished 6.3 miles in under 50 minutes. My average pace was under 8 minutes for the entire run. It sounds good... but I wasn't following the plan. Being too fast can hurt me... and I REALLY need to follow the plan. I know... I know.... cry me a river, I ran too fast.

How do you run slower when you plan calls for it?